I used to spend too many moments sitting here
Trying to figure out why I was pain
I analyzed every scenario
Yet my problems still remained
The facts were obvious:
You had changed
But the worst part was
You thought you were the same.
You used to be the guy that would hold my hand
Listen to all my drama and understand.
You'd catch every tear that fell from my eye
But you changed to the one that made me cry
You used to be the guy that would make fun of me
Then give me a hug and tell me you were kidding.
You'd make me smile and always kiss my forehead
But then you started to act like you were dead.
You acted like I was invisible
Like I wasn't even alive
You acted like we never had anything
But at one point, you were mine!
You walked around hating the world
You'd mope around all the time
You acted like everyone should feel sorry for you
And honestly deep down inside of me, I do.
I don't know if you just wanted attention
I don't know if it was a trend
But each day you were changing more and more
And you were losing all of your friends.
I was giving you attention
I was trying to fix what's wrong
But I was not good enough to help you anymore
The guy that I once knew was gone.
And now it's been awhile since the last time I've talked to you
I have moved along with my life
But don't think I've forgotten anything
I remember everything we've been through.
I do remember the way you used to smile at me
I haven't forgotten the way used to look at me.
And of course I remember the embrace of your hugs
I could never forget your touch.
After everything that has happened,
I'm in someplace new.
Somewhere that I can be myself
And it's helped me get over you.
Now I know you've moved onto her
And you haven't changed who you are
The new obvious fact is that I don't miss you
I just miss who you were.
Author notes
Option 2a
A contest entry
- More options!! Take a peek to find out :) by Ti Amo Te Quiero.
550 points, ended November 10, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Um, wow.
I love it.
And I'm so glad you wrote it coz this is exactly how I feel except I couldn't have expressed it as well as this.
Thankyou.
abi x x x
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wow i can complete relate to that poem
nicely put i absolutely love this good job : ]
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I love the harsh nature of this:
"The facts were obvious:
You had changed
But the worst part was
You thought you were the same."
And trust me, I know what you're getting at there.
I think that your grammar could be improved in this piece.
And man oh man do I know this:
"After everything that has happened,
I'm in someplace new.
Somewhere that I can be myself
And it's helped me get over you.
Now I know you've moved onto her
And you haven't changed who you are
The new obvious fact is that I don't miss you
I just miss who you were." -- It's just like me and my ex. Wait till he comes back and says he loves you time after time, after you've already moved on. Silly boy.
I do believe that this wouldn't hurt if it was shortened, keeping the most important things. Revising, basically. & also your rhyming seemed to alter throughout?
It's a good poem though. The message and content is great, and relate-able. So good work
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Good job!! a little lengthy though, but it was still nice. Thanks for entering and good luck
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