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Dying together

I watched her die so many times
Beneath my loving lips
Her punishment for many crimes
Was at my finger tips

A little sigh, a moan, a cry
And then she'd call my name
She'd act all shy, then start to fly
I'm glad I was to blame

In bed at night we'd cuddle tight
And love would take a hand
The sheer delight when all went right
You cannot understand

And then to sleep in lover's arms
When I too passed away
The sweetest of a partner's charms
Une petite morte in play

Author notes

I knew

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me honestly what you think, good or bad.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • AngelSeeker silver member
    November 16, 2008
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    Very good. A woman is blessed when she finds a man who knows.


  • Katie Lazette
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice write Jeff, it's been awhile since we spoke. Hope everything is going great for you. Take care and God bless you. Still wearing those wonderful looking vest.


  • Death of the Author
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Rhyme and flow are pretty flawless...there's not much more to say really. You took the prompt literally and very well. Thanks for your entry :


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Written with your usual style and so much more. A great take on the prompt.

    All the best


  • Legend silver member
    November 9, 2008

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    Oh that we gentlemen would feel that we killed our loved ones with passion
    Sadly if asked many would say it was bordom.
    An excellent little poem Refecting well the given title
    Good luck in the contest


  • moonbumps silver member
    November 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ahhhh the 'Little Death'
    I remember that-


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    November 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you knew what???

    dont wnat to know.

    great job


    love Passions


  • Akari
    November 8, 2008

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    Excellent piece!

    So beautiful... there is an imagery here that most cannot see unless they have experienced it themselves. Great Job! Keep up the Great Work!


  • Amera gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my! She actually let on that she died in your arms? I really enfoyed this poem. You penned passion in a wonderful way and added depth with rhyme and meter.

    Love,
    Amera♥

1 - 10 of 10