here, the sun fades
and flowers turn green
and brown;
thoughts chase a field just to
fall off the edge -
but gravity catches them.
she opens her arms to
gather leaves;
time moves slowly,
tasting bitter apples not ready for harvest
and my skin
which waits
peacefully.
the trees silence, wind blows,
bells jingle gently in my ears
a chorus of
voices
recite the usual:
wood flute kisses
to play your name upon...
horizon opens sky gates to the universe
as crystal brooks bloom
chilly
between her breasts
~~~
Author notes
UPDATE: I owe, like, everything to tarawilson for helping me with my tenses. 
one of the best poems I've written in a while.
feels good.
In a list
A contest entry
- For making me your favourite ♥ by Never Fall in Love.
900 points, ended December 9, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
shine.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
.
-
Most wonderfull poem daughter, you have excelled as always, love Dad
-
thoughts chase a field just to
fall off the edge
but gravity catches them.
Very nice
horizon opens sky gates to the universe - that is so sci-fi haha, awesome
last three lines - killer.
Good job
And I can relate to your Author note as I only recently started writing again, every "good" poem makes you feel better.
Good luck in Chandni's contest x
-
Ah! You truly are the Mistress of Metaphor! Tie imagery in this poem is both vivid and original. Well done!
Love,
Amera♥
-
-
thank you so much cuz
-
-
its a great poem darling
i knew youd come back witha vengence lol
well done sweets
love ya lil sis -
maybe 'nature suckles virginity' - interesting title=)
-
-
I agree with your thoughts on the title, it seems too harsh for the genre of the write, but the title is best if not really referring to anything in the actual body of the poem if you can do that...I would just play with a few and see which seems to speak to you the most. Oh and I agree this is one of your best C
-
awwww ^_^
amazing cassie
♥
-
-
thank you.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
