Dancing dewdrops
shimmer on skin,
liquid lingering,
languishing in lassitude
as rainbows ripple in the sky.
Sorrow mingles with beauty,
life moving forward
by slow seconds,
even though time
has seemingly stopped.
World still spinning
while life continues,
as grief grasps for meaning
in the emptiness.
Death,
final for those left behind,
but just beginning
for those who have departed.
Author notes
#3 - 'sipping sawdust'
just my thoughts (strange, maybe) on that phrase - still thinking on a title...lol
A contest entry
- PROMPTS VIII - Round 1 of 2 - by Bear - by Arkbear.
400 points, ended November 8, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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1st stanza lines 3 and 4 try out
Water lingering
With attitude
and then...
#3 - 'sipping sawdust'
just my thoughts (strange, maybe) on that phrase - still thinking on a title...lol
Instead
it seems to me...
just my thoughts (blessed, knowingly) on that phrase - still thinking on a title...lol
Great Write Good time led me away with good moments
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Thank you so much 'negatoreyfan' for reading and your nice comment. I am pleased you liked this.
I like your suggestions - sipping sawdust I like...lol...not sure if it'd fit well or not, but I like it anyways.....
when and if I get around to editing on this, I will certainly play with your suggestions - thank you. (I am really slow about getting back to a piece and re-doing/editing it; usually I just delete them...lol)
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Congrats on the HM!
Some wonderfully portrayed imagery here hunni! I adore the first verse, what a way to open
Such awesome alliteration to, a beautiful read. Congrats on the HM
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Thank you LadyD - glad you liked this.
lol - the lst verse got labeled by Bear as 'cliche'.....lolol
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Meh, the word cliché is cliché these days
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lol - so true!
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I really like this, very thought provocking ideas and images.
Congrats on the HM.
\♥/
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Thank you 'Hope Angel' - glad you enjoyed.
This was a real quick write - with a word count limit. I'm not really happy with it - will prob. delete....lol
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lol awww well I think it is great and your welcome
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thanks
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nicely penned, with a multitude of emotions blending. Best to you in the contest!
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Thank you Neon - glad you enjoyed this quick write....lol
I guess this was a Rounds contest - wish I'd read that part lst....lolol....it made it in, barely.....but now, there will be another round!
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Lovely...such a touching write. I adore that you included the circle of life...giving a feeling of hope and rebirth. Marvelous thoughts!!!
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Thank you Az - glad you liked this quick write.
Life is a 'circle of life' - for all things.
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Really like your thoughts here! What we see as an ending, is indeed another beginning...
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Thank you kiwi - glad you enjoyed.
Personally, I find 'change' scary...lol
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LOL me too! I've never been good at change
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lol
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Congratulations on your honorable mention trophy....You have taken us to another realm of thought...Well written...
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Thank you 'Rose Angel' for reading and your lovely comment. I appreciate it, and am glad you enjoyed this. It was a very fast, impulse write for me...lol...I'll prob. delete it soon.
again, thanks
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Hey Boom
Lovely indeed....you barely made the cut....I was handing out Trophys, and it said Transformations* was listed as *not read*...
Lovely alliteration to set your pretty Tone......I am not sure I agree with some of your Flow....but, it does work ~
Your first two L's are a tad cliche'.....have heard that so many times
*Life moving on*.......*life moving forward*.....repeating is not something I would have chosen to do.....you know how I feel about that
Not bad......I find deepness in your thoughts and lots of imagery to ponder between your Met.'s ~
Good luck & God bless you,
Bear ~
Perfect count....thank you
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thank you Bear - it was a 'quickie' write when I saw one opening left..
No longer constricted by word count, I will do some editing now...lol
Thank you for the HM.
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Well you know that I think you did a wonderful job as always good luck to you in this contest best wishes always be well
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Thank you Starz - glad you like
guess I'm just surrounded by too many bad phone calls today - my thoughts went a different way - although, when you are grieving, anything you sip/eat does taste like sawdust stuck in the throat.....
anyways
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