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Asylums ...

You think we are left ~ with no place to go,
‘Cause political ‘rights’ work ‘quid pro quo’!
Something for something, is No thing at all,
Dense, much like pretense, promotes urban sprawl.
We are the poets who share what we think,
Question your motives and do it in ink.
Call us outspoken or just plain insane,
Our eyes view the facts of bedlam’s campaign.

‘Correct’ is a sense that often misleads,
Asylums are places to trace wrongful creeds ...



© 2008 Joy A Burki-Watson

Author notes

This poem previously won a Bronze trophy.

As per the contest requirements: "I want to win".

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • liquidmindforever
    May 23

    Edit | Reply

    Clicky indeed

    Hello poet,

    Thank you for adding your submission Asylums
    to my contest for BRONZE & SILVER PREWRITES
    ONLY

    Wishing you continued success
    and best wishes,
    stay
    liquid


  • toomysterious
    December 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Truer words were never spoken.

  • ea silver member
    November 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I agree! Great going on your winning write, wonderfully rhymed & with a powerful message.


  • The Fun House silver member
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very strong and well done. I found this to be quite a brillant piece that speaks volumnes. Great take on the prompt.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!!

    You've said it all... Wishing you the best of luck in the contest!! Peace always, Cyn


  • leo2
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Politically correct" is a concept that is much in vogue just prior to elections but carries little weight otherwise depending on the company you keep. Your poem evokes deep thought at a time when coffee and cigarettes are the only things on my brain. Best of luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • Ellis gold member
    November 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Delightful WOW

    So beautifully well written. Really MADE ME THINK. Love it!


  • Yemassee gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Left and right, I think we're talking more than directions here.

    What's the line in Turgenev's novel, "Fathers and Sons?" It would take me too long to find the book and the quote from the Nihilist character Bazarov. But basically it was, "Crush everything, If something is meant to stand it will stand." Ok, that isn't my official endorsement, just something in your words reminded me of that.

    But that was a great novel for Turgenev showed the idealistic youth as well the jaded landed gentry and the conflict between them, not at all unlike the left and the right...and of course he showed the good qualities as well as the flaws of each. What does that have to do with your poem? Aren't you paying attention to what I just wrote?

    What I mean is..."outspoken" is "insane" and vice versa, both views are probably justified, it all depends on who is doing the viewing.

    Or something like that. I just write about plastic flamingos, they don't talk back.

  • Bad Bill
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Clever poem, Joy, and I love the fact that you use rhyming couplets--and use them skillfully.

    Best of luck,
    Bill

1 - 9 of 9