Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

wine stained carpet (silver)

Missing image




They left shared abode
as abandoned as their love
where remnants of affection pealed
like paint from walls
and memories lay shattered
on wine stained carpets
caused by anger slammed doors

Only she returns to the ruins
every now and then
for a waltz down memory lane
of happier times in love

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

30-60 words

Picture Credit: http://zemotion.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Angel-69859594

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you brought so much to the picture, as i read it it seems to come alive, keep it flowing and congrads on the sliver in the contest


  • Wandika gold member
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Again

    both sad and beautiful.

    Trying to get a feel for how you think.
    "I want to paint outside your lines."

    Jim


  • mysticstorm gold member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beauty in sadness...your words touch deep and always say so much...truly lovely as always...
    congrat's on the Silver.
    Love to you!


  • chilali
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful take on the picture! I loved this. The title itself is amazing and captures the reader's attention. You have done very well with this piece of yours. Thank you for your entry and beat of luck to you


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The metaphors in this are brillantly penned; the sadness flows through with her dancing steps

    Gorgeous hun!
    Best of Luck

    Stay safe
    Love to You
    ~Manda


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done! It is nice to look back on happy times, if you can hop skip and jump over the sadder ones. This has an excellent flow to it, very neat read, good luck


  • Hikari Lady
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have wonderful imaginary here, this poem was so sad in a way.
    "like paint from walls
    and memories lay shattered
    on wine stained carpets
    caused by anger slammed doors"
    Wonderful lines full of imagination and strength.

    ~Noor


  • Canadamomma
    November 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome take on the prompt
    good luck in the contest


  • Entwining Beauty
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful and deeply written poem. Good luck in the contest


  • word20dragon
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Short

    This is a short poem I can see all the images here very clearly but having a hard time feeling the emotion. Is that the feel you are going for love that once burned hot with passion but now is just a dying ember of memories cause I just feel cold like a woman turned her shoulder to me or she slapped me and walked away standing on the curb. Stund and shocked.


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Only she returns to the ruins
    every now and then
    for a waltz down memory lane
    of happier times in love

    I love these lines especially 'a waltz down memory lane', they conveyed the photo so well.





  • banrion
    November 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wonderfully descriptive take on the picture, a joy to read


  • bigperm
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    What a beautiful find.

    Your words paint a vivid picture on the canvas of my mind. Your take on the photo...artfully executed.


  • MD Masroor
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. amazing take on the picture prompt! such beautiful imagery and such a deep meaning instilled within this poem of yours. Good luck in the contest!


  • 2lullabyhaven
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I'm speechless, such cleverness in your write...good luck to you


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh just gorgeous but sad. I think we all go down memory lane to go over the good times. Ubfortunately the sad times grab us along the way.
    Love your take on this picture. You really gave it such a deep meaning.
    All the best with this one
    Gaylene

1 - 16 of 16