I wonder why it happens,
And if other kids go through it too
The bruises get darker and darker each day
My heart breaks each day.
It’s that time
When daddy comes home
From wherever he goes
And I have to hide in my room
He quickly finds me,
And hits me in his drunken state
Daddy hopes I’ll scream
So he can get pleasure out of his sadistic ways.
“Daddy” I mumble,
Tears cracking my solemn voice
“Why do you do this to me?
What did I do?"
These words…
I’ve said them many times already
And each time they’re uttered,
A kick is their response.
My frail body breaks
At each painful slap
He blames me for mommy’s death,
And hopes to trade me for her
Tears scorch my eyes,
Threatening to fall
But I know that if I let them free,
I’ll just get struck again.
He finally leaves,
His deed is done
At least for today
Daddy will be back tomorrow.
…is there any way to escape?
Author notes
Option 10
I tried. I don't really like how it turned out but I hope you enjoy it anyway
∞ Anneliese ∞
AP: EuphoricDysphoria
___________________________________________________________________________
Option Four: Make Me Cry.
That's right, I want you to make me cry. Simple as that. Or is it?
- Poets Against Child Abuse group list • next in list
A contest entry
- I want your darkest of dark poetry. by Chelse-Oh.
950 points, ended November 21, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Three Pre-writes by piccola.
800 points, ended November 27, 2008, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - And Then There Were None... by Memoirs of a Girl.
700 points, ended December 16, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
Oh, my apologies, I just didn't see it last time, thanks for adding that
This poem is so very sad, and it actually reminds me of another poem that I once read, with a similar story line, that made me cry.
However, I think that although the words are strong, there is no emotional connection to the piece (and perhaps this is because of the fact that you did not experience this yourself). It is very well written, for the most part, but I just don't feel anything when I read it.
Also, there is one thing that I would edit from the first stanza. For the lines "The bruises get darker and darker each day
My heart breaks each day", instead of using 'each day' twice, you could say "The bruises get darker and darker each day
And my heart breaks" or something along those lines.
Thanks for entering!
~Memoirs
-
-
Don't be sorry about not noticing it
And sorry it didn't make you feel anything ^^; It pretty much came out so a friend of mine could read it, and I liked it and figured it would fit in your contest
Yeah I agree with you about the first stanza, I'll change it soon
Thanks for commenting
∞ Anneliese ∞
-
-
Please place your option number in your AN.
-
-
I did; it's right underneath my AP name, sorry I just realized how hard it was to notice
i'll put it closer to the top if you want me to?
-
-
Terrible that it can be real. I don't know if it is in this case and I pray not. The write sounds oh so real and brings the reader into a very frightening situation. Thank you for the entry
-
-
its the case for one of my friends, not me
∞ Anneliese ∞
-
-
wow
this is deep and i have gone through something like this because my father beat me all the time
-
-
ouch I'm sorry it's gotta really suck to have that happen to you..if you ever want to talk about it you can talk to me if you want, though that hasn't ever happened to me but I'm eally sorry you had to deal with that..
∞ Anneliese ∞
-
-
Wow that was an awesome poem..It was sad but it was good.
-
:O
OMG....THIS BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYE'S. This was sooooo powerful....if this really happened to you, i'm am sooooo soo soo so sorry and if you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me. Either way, this was fuckin powerful....and left me in awe. You have a talent
-
-
Nope, it never happened to me, it happened to one of my best friends. And I'm glad I can come to someone if this ever did happen to me. I'm sorry it brought tears to you though, didn't quite mean for that to happen. But I'm glad you liked it so much! Thank you for the comment!
∞ Anneliese ∞
-
-
Heartbreaking. So sad. The emotion is pouring out through your words. Great job. ~Chelsey
-
Just in case the message i sent did not go through
I am closing this contest because of the shortage of entries, i will reopen this contest in a few days so please send me a message with your link for your poem so i can allow those who wrote for this contest in and send an invite when i open a new contest
-
-
ok i will
-
-
Always believe in hope
Your friend should know they are not alone, they should also read this poem. Abuse by anyone is never pleasant, and where a child is concerned it's downright sadistic. Very sad that your friend is being abused by their father, Such I myself have endured and survived, so there is hope if one looks hard enough. Great work and good luck with this contest.
-
Wow Im about to be in tears.
This is really a great great poem....
Wow..
Its crazy, I love this poem and I really really hope that conditions get better for you.
This poem has also helped me in a novel im writing about almost the same situation.
Thank you for widening my eyes with this.
-
-
Thank you for that kind comment! I'm glad it helped you with the novel, and I'm glad you love it so much! *hugs* but this poem isn't about me, it's about someone I know, so yeah I hope he reads this. But still thank you for the comment!
∞ Anneliese ∞
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
