Time passes,
people change,
It's like the whole world get's rearranged.
People die,
baby's are born,
Men and women's hearts get torn.
people fight,
kid's go to play,
suddinly night turn's into day.
Time passes before you can say "pop!"
Time will go on forever and will never stop!
Author notes
Please tell me what
A contest entry
- Let your mind explore by Learning2PaintYou.
550 points, ended November 8, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hi, rpredgo
There is truth to what you've said here. that's why it's so important to live life to the fullest, because time waits for no one.
My suggestion to you: Try incorporating some poetic device into your work. It'll draw the reader further into your poem, and make him/her feel like their living and breathing your poem, not just reading it.
If you have any questions, please let me know
Write on!
Laura
Site Greeter -
I think you started this poem out VERY well, but lost it when you said, "Time passes before you can say pop!" Poems don't have to rhyme, but I see that you're trying to get this one to.
I think it would be better if you said..
"Time passes before a situation comes to ease
Time will go on forever and will never cease"
Anyway, just a suggestion.
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