Serpentine thread weaves miles into the horizon
Midst myriads of a galaxy of an earth's heaven
Bales of hay like stars shining in the night
Never knowing where one begins, one ends
Patchwork quilted fields cover horizon
Continuous blanket of lemon yellow, burnt umber
Sap green.
Ad nauseum miles, bolders rising, potholes bumping
Springs wearing weary pick up truck squeaking,
Creeping...till dead end sign says no further...
Ending up in charolais cow pasture!
Author notes
Prompt Number four..Gravel roads
Getting acclimatized to the prairies in Canada had me getting used to the geographical surroundings of the rural life...One could get lost on those gravel roads....Knowing north, south, east and west directions were my deliverance many a time....Such was reflected in my poem here!
A contest entry
- PROMPTS VIII - Round 1 of 2 - by Bear - by Arkbear.
400 points, ended November 8, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my FAVES only; please enter. by perfectsunset.
750 points, ended October 7, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you feel about this poem
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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You are an amazing poetess hun!
I have missed your writes greatly..
and so sorry I haven't had the
time to read, but I am glad that
you entered and I am now.
This was wonderful!
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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so beautifully descriptive
this made me smile and reminded me of when I moved to a rural area. . .I got lost on gravel roads, too. . .thank goodness for the stars!
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Thank you brother David for your critiquing comment of my poem as want to keep in mind improving, and I can count on you to be frank with me on polishing it up....I appreciate you all for your comments...This was a first attempt going into a realm of more words..and so needed opinion....
All your comments mean so much....Thank you all, David, W.B!,Condor....each one taking the time! -
vivid and original picture
images you have created. my only suggestion would have been to maybe mention the road toward the beginning to ease the sudden change of theme mood that seemed to strike me towards the end, would have made the quilted patch fields a more visual direction which they so deserve. Your opening line was terrific. Overall the poem gave me a sense of wandering dreamy emotions.
Good write
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Excellent
Such a well crafted write. You penned such vivid images. Best of luck in the contest.
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Excellent write. Sounds like those roads were stretching straight across a mountain range. Were you driving through craters and the like on your trip? lol!!!!! Your description of the landscape was nothing short of brilliant, giving me a glimpse of such rugged terrain that would rattle your bones. I was so impressed. Must have been an interesting journey. Never been to Canada, or anywhere else for that matter....(I once crossed to the other side of the street though. Does that count? lol!!!). A super write with great images translated through your words. Go, Rose. (I nearly called you someone else...)
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Wow this was so beautiful so full of discription great choice of words> THis is a very talented write!!
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"Bales of hay like stars shining in the night" Lovely image.
I remember long drives on vacations which stretched for hours and hundreds of miles, where the scenery would remain the same - eastern Wyoming, north to Edmonton, Alberta, CA. I'm sure the prairies stretched on and on like this.
I especially like the "patchwork quilted fields".
The 2nd line is confusing and a bit awkward to read.
Are you trying to say:
"like countless earthen galaxies"?
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Dearest Grandma, you are truly an angel; for no one but an angel could write as you do. every single word of this poem contained a fiery beauty that moved my soul! The picture you depict is divine, I love the way you have percieved the prairies and the rural life. I am a great lover of nature and the country myself, for I live out in the country mainly. every time I go outside, I will be reminded of your beautiful words! you are amazing, I look up to you for all my inspiration and insight into what a good poet should be!
Love,
Summer xxx
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I think that you did a lovely job with the prompt that was chosen thanks for sharing best wishes always
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Lovely wording! Great images!
I love the references to quilting - I love to patchwork quilt myself, so I did so enjoy that!
And I also much enjoyed the humor woven into this - we have that around here also - pot holes and roads that end in the middle of a cow pasture!
Very well done!!!
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Thanks, Grand daughter!
Knowing the miles of gravel road I have travelled...this poem brought enjoyment as I tried to put into words endless miles of colorful landscape(mind you the color is a seasonal thing)....With humour I ended while humor took me in the old truck with the potholes, adoring the patchwork quilts....Thanks hon...Glad you liked it! -
Wonderful!!!!
This poem has such great imagery, you really captured the beauty of the country, and I can imagine everything you said... Very beautiful write!!! I love how you ended it!
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Thanks, Bear!
I lost my script of this poem, three times in the writing, with computer problems, and lastly my laptop faded into oblivion...So the last attempt I had given up on the count...so I do ask forgiveness on my over write of words....Deeply sorry...I count it as experience...Thanks for reading, and also marking it as favorably as you did!
You apparently know how patchwork quilts of fields fade into the horizon, and north, south, east and west knowledge are a must for those travelling....A sign post or marker are a necessity for the miles of driving and direction....
Thanks again.....God bless you. -
Hello
Well, there are so many gorgeous words of vision here.....unfortuantely, you have gone over the Word MAX by 15 words
http://javascript.internet.com/forms/word-count.html
I can score it at 97.5.....but that number becomes void with so many extra words
I am standing in awe of this write, but with so many words over the limit, I have to pass on giving this a spot in the Finals.....I hope you understand ~
God bless you Rose and thank you so much for sharing your presence and talents with us.....with me
Gosh.....after another read, I am saddened that this went over so far on the word limit.....so many memories you have brought back for me.......I agree with your AN's.....you can get lost so easily on those dirt roads.....terrific take on your chosen Prompt ~
Bless you and thank you for entering,
Bear ~
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