Injustice in city life.
Everyone walking, talking, tripping, strife.
Time is worn down each day,
the paths are ground so hard
by the feet of unmotivated erosion
by the feet of the goal-less soulless.
The ones who have settled for the attainable
Reached no further than their grip allows
and landed somewhere numbly satisfying
surrendering to a belief that nothing grows.
I behold and sigh as their eyes fade and gazes glaze.
Want to scream and shout to awake.
But they are so steadfast in their course,
Unmoving and unmoved by my call.
By having accepted that their dreams are unattainable
They follow the grounded path, continuing to erode time
as a goal-less soulless.
Author notes
This is for everyone
A contest entry
- Got something to say? Do it here by ratkos.
1200 points, ended November 28, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
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this is so descriptive and so true..i loved the content . thank you for your wonderful observational piece!
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Wow- some really great alliteration here!
And the main idea is great- I can relate so closely to wanting to convince people that being a commerce zombie is not cool. Not cool at all.
I don't mean to sound negative at all, this is just my opinion, but the ending is really anti-climactic to me. To end the way you begin but slightly different is one thing. But to end with what you said somehere in the middle doesn't very well, to me. These are just my thoughts. I am not having a go, it's just that my enjoyment of the poem was decreased because of it.
Overall a great read, though- thanks for sharing!
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Don't worry about sounding negative! I always appreciate criticism.
Thanks for the input
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supurp
sadly true and quite profound, you point out clearly that we seem to just get by with minimal effort...questioning where ambition has gone, and why motivation is lost ..people are stagnant. great peace!
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