Yawn, stretch, ignore the sunlight coming in,
Pull myself up from the floor
Where I passed out last night
Beer bottles scatter from my shuffling feet
As I hurry to the porcelain god
I down a few aspirins
Before showering, sort of,
Hit the three major spots,
Deodorant, shirt and jeans,
Then I'm on out the door
To my four-wheel Ford,
With all the important stuff in back
There's a fly rod and flies,
Spare line with my wrenches
In my glove box of junk,
A mummy bag rolled on the passenger floor
For emergencies, or just for fun,
There's jack-stands, two jacks,
Some rope, and old parts in back
The bed I'll soon fill
With tonight's firewood,
Showing my muscles
For any ladies to pass
It's out to the lake,
I'm fully prepared -
Canned meat in my pack
With a tent, if I please,
Which I most likely won't, -
I'll yack with the fishers
And stare at the swimmers,
Before casting my line again and again,
I'll probably catch nothing,
Still a fruitful day,
If I'm out in the woods,
And playing with fire,
Sleeping with bugs in my face,
'Cause I'm a man
And bugs I can stand,
But, lady, the seat won't go down...
Author notes
This was written for a contest challenge, to try and think like a man. For me, the masculine woman, this has been a little difficult - to pry away my feminine masculinity and replace it with a purely masculine mentality.
I would like to state, for the record, that, "hit the three major spots" is not from my imagination, or assumption of men. You can thank WH for giving me that line, as it really is his.
A contest entry
- Battle of the Sexes ~ Ladies First! by Xianaria.
700 points, ended December 15, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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lol very accurate...I know i had 1 brother and all his friends. Then raised 3 boys. Not to mention the guys that was in my life a time or two.
Really good job!
Enjoyed!
Thanks for entering,
~Lisa~
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this was awsome!! I really liked it! I've grown up with 4 borhters so this is on the mark! Way to go!!!
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LOL ~ I think you know our boys! Nicely done, thank you for entering!
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very funny
This is a great write and exactly how the male would act! I love it, but I'm not much of a fisherman or camper. I'll do it, but only if the wife wants too! The Shaker
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Well I think that you did a great job in here good luck to you in the contest best wishes and much luck be well
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