Can I Forget that He's Gone?

I am a wild river that will not settle.
Once when I stood in harmony with another,
my waters were calm; its body was safe.
But his absence has turned me to rapids.

A lord, if there be one, ripped my love.
Like a weed rooted in the soil, from this garden.
Lonely and lost; I'm a distant motel
with it's vacancy sign hung high in red light.

When sleep comes it brings lies.
And memories cradle me into the morning
where the aching light brings bitter truth.
It's like falling into frozen water.

He "has passed", he "did not make it". He is dead.
Yet I wear his presence upon my like a blanket,
like a memory that has forgotten its time.
I run my life in circles; afraid of a lonely future.

This river may dry out, it may sink into the ground.
Yet I try to keep it running, making hopeless circles.
Just for those singular moments, late at night,
when I forget he's not sleeping beside me.