her flesh was an ocean - open and red -
on the night she played Moses
parting to the bedrock
to the seabed
to the bone
past the little details that hover
and blind, each surface unwilling to forget
itself, beneath the silence of wind
in a cage
[ or a silent word might also fit the same ]
she found each bone held catholic lines,
ivory needles
scattered with the dying fossils, held tucked
between her trust and misgivings-
even the fish, with their grave understanding,
of how to breath underwater,
could not rise
past their own decay
~
so now she drowns in a promise
afraid of nothing
afraid of everything
Author notes
Edits: 2 (still pondering)
In a list
A contest entry
- It's my birthday by alexandrathegreat.
700 points, ended December 13, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
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Those final lines exiting the piece are really strong, it's as if you have been inside my mind of late lol...I like the way the piece is strongly put but then has that vulnerability about it.
C


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Brilliance that blinds...
"so now she drowns in a promise"
Hmmm..."Critical Honesty Appreciated"...Ok...Here goes...You're gonna make me cry, you're so damned talented, so incredibly gifted with words. I wanted to quote this entire poem. SERIOUSLY. I can't imagine the life you've led that has helped create the person you are, but let me tell you, from here, you look wonderfully intriguing, fresh, honest, vulnerable, wide open, pensive & witty, aware of being alive. Dammmnnn. Even more impressed am I.
Listed & bookmarked. (That means, "please keep your finger off the delete button")
P.S.
Pleeeeeeease get off your bumper & PUBLISH, for God's sake. Or, for mine.
And, of course, the rest of the world. 


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Love this. Love the ending.






