like a rich blue world or a whirlwind...unfinished
as words that fell in tender whispers
to carry feelings of now into unknown tomorrow;
and life comes birthed within us
a labor in love, a search and a journey.
I would be lost and aimless
adrift like an untethered sphere
moving in the vast cold emptiness
seeking a harbor
a strong warm star
to match my wandering want
with the gravity of moments for remembrance
my will to spin ever away, with a wish to stay.
To an eye like the Angel
there would be an occult and eclipse,
an elliptic pair in dance of will and won't
heart and desire, giving movement to love
while God watches the great fishes
and human spirits...things that must swim or die.
A contest entry
- The Beauty of Being Unfinished by Heart Sutra.
1100 points, ended November 30, 2008, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This had a little bit of a fatal feeling to it, which seems unlike you! Having said that, I think it is well written and I especially liked this stanza:
To an eye like the Angel
there would be an occult and eclipse,
an elliptic pair in dance of will and won't
heart and desire, giving movement to love
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Zayra-
Thank you for the honor... a lot of fine writing in this contest, you have given us an inspiring theme and a rich presentation...PK
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'the great fishes/and human spirits...swim or die'. well done. well done. actually, other good parings include occult and eclipse, harbor and star. cool ideas. -unfinishedfish
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I keep on reading it
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Wow- a lot of very interesting, evocative ideas here;
A very dense, abstract piece of work.
Nice work my friend!
The third stanza, particularly
"adrift like an untethered sphere
moving in the vast cold emptiness"
I find very intriguing. I struggle to think of why a sphere would be tethered to anything in the first place. it is this ambiguity that I enjoy. I can only envisage some big green glass ball thing attached to rope, but I don't know what that would be used for...
Nice work.
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