He carried a world splitting
particle beam.
He was very much trusted.
He was a Jedi who could end the world
and they had called him.
Why?
In search of some wisdom.
Or a justification of excuses.
he knew the difference.
He would listen and give advice.
and leave.
If ever he was attacked it was allowed.
because they would find out who.
since twice is coincidence and
three times is enemy action.
Nobody ever pissed off the Jedi.
A contest entry
- your soul beats on a platter by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended November 23, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I would like to have seen
Perhaps a more solid tie between the suggested them or prompt for the write. Having had the experience of watching and reading about Jedi, I can sense the potential tie in with a beating soul on a platter, but what if I had no prior knowledge of Jedi? Thank you for sharing.
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OK
from the seventh ring at the heart of the galaxy,He seems cool but if you like an S may be added and the Jedi may called she,a sort of fail if you ask me,but easily done.Why are females in harms way,think.He is an establisher law,not because it is HE but as metaphor,she is less effective in the matter,just accept it. -
I would remove some of the he's that you have littered thoughout, it is unneeded.
I also would have liked to see a bit of imagery -
but still, thank you for your entry.
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