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Whilst Cherubs Dance With Succubus

give me sublime transcendance of romance or give me death
rotting slowly with the wilted flowers
whilst cherbubs dance with succubus
in a rosy hell of horny horns and thorns
painting beauty with the blood of eros
upon pure silk
desires
and let the breath of thee
resurrect all that we were born to be
before dying on the vine
like over plump grapes
absorbing an early frost

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • lunarlunacy
    November 10, 2008
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    line 1 = if no love and a love sublime, fuckin shoot me , whats the point
    love is the highest civil liberty the animal known as human posses
    line 2 = a soul decays or wilts without growth inspiring love
    line 3 & 4 = the differences tween man and woman, the trials of love from ecstasy to agony
    line 5 6 7= another image laden representation of line 3,4
    line 8 9 = never turn ones back on true love, dont forsake something so beautiful when all that is needed is communication
    11 12 a wine metaphor for love, and its premature death. (well alot more than that but i dont care to explain that painful sentiment in this public format)

    i think that was more of an explanation of the poem itself rather than the persay "inspiration".


  • outofsadness
    November 9, 2008
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    I really liked the last two lines. Explain the inspiration of this poem to me.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 7, 2008

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    Now there's some vivid images in there!!

    Cool


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    November 7, 2008

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    ok. got a gold here, should. brilliant, dark, sorta and beautiful...

    last four lines are a poem separate ... read poem backwards, same poem almost exactly ...

    succubus is a dark image of destructive sexual power, usually a female taking the male powers away from a man by you know whating him to death against his will, yet all hehas to do is say that he does not desire her, in order to save himself

    so this one has got an edgy double blade to it: last two lines, a succubus mentioned earlier would not leave even the moist skin of the hollowed out grape .. but this is before, this succulent little grape, before it met the pond dark eyes and after which ... it was all over

    hah ... how utterly wicked


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 6, 2008

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    oh H@!! yea, lol, this is a golden and around great poem my friend, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest

1 - 5 of 5