Serious lacking of enthusiasm
Losing her heart to that mindless chasm
Only to find nothing at all...
Treasuring life, and it's apparent downfall
Hiding from mirrors- a phantasm.
Lonesome and morbid she flies...
Underneath the skies.
Searching for that fire,
Trembling with desire...
Ectoplasm searching for wants,
Now feigning nonchalance,
Venomous jealousy often drains...
Yet, she no longer lives. She wanes.
Gallows in the distance from years ago
Remind her of a time when people slipped below.
Everything emanates with radiance refined-
(Everything she lost when she left her mind.)
Demands her possessions because she cannot let go.
Preening herself whilst anxiously waiting,
Revealing to no-one, for fear of abating...
Intuition she still has whilst holding on,
Deviance from the social norm.
Evidence to that list of scenes she is creating.
Wars with herself over reason for non-existence,
Realizes how asinine to follow the path of least resistance.
Anger at the world, at it's wrong doings and stupidities...
Trapped by the idea of serendipities, but
Haunted by the world and it's ignorance.
Giving longing looks to the living
Longing looks not worth giving-
Undulating throngs of people pass by,
Totally oblivious to her cry.
Trembling longing from deep within
Oral oscillations from under her skin.
Nothing now will satisfy-
Years without belonging do not lie....
Author notes
9. http://media.photobucket.com/image/ghost/xecutioner_sixx66/niikkkis.jpg?o=39
An acrostic on the seven sins....
(OK, so some of you will need translating...here goes!)
Abating- to become less.
Asinine- kinda means stupid...
Chasm- big gap.
Ectoplasm- kinda of like 'ghost matter' (not in my dictionary so cannot explain!)
Emanates- glows, radiates...
Nonchalance- apathy. 'I don't care'
Oscillations- moving from side to side, like a pendulum.
Phantasm- ghost or spirit.
Serendipities- 'Meant to be...'
Throngs- Crowds, moving through a crowd
Undulating- Moving in the same way as waves.
(AA!)
In a list
- 'You're reading the map upside down!!' • next in list
- 'If you don't deliver, I'll Triple Acrostic your arse!' • next in list
A contest entry
- Dark, Dark and more Dark by solitarytear.
400 points, ended November 22, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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this is great talent, its really hard to make a great poem like this, let alone an acrostic.
amazing job, keep it up
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very well written i love it very much keep up the great work....
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Its excellent use of words...beautifully woven,intricately detailed to the last bit...kudos!!!
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So good to see the big cannons being fired in an impressive broadside. A little meter would go a long way toward making this a top tier write.
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Line one would sound better if it said lack instead of lacking. just my opinion though.
I loved the rhyming flowed very well
And didn't even notice the Seven Sins until the AN
Well done!
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Did you also get this idea from my conversation with you? I like it you willbe able to enter it in my next contest!! lol its good like it alot
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I think this has become one of my favorite pieces from you. This is truly deep and lovely, love the entwining of the seven sins. Very nice flow and rhyme.
Blue~
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good job. i like it.
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wow this was amazing, bravo
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holding on tight to what was
trapped and screaming on deaf ears,
full of dark and sad emotions
existing but not existing
extraordinary my young friend
I agrre brilliantly done
God bless you...
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oh wow. i love how even though you did an acrostic of each of the seven deadly sins, you didnt separate the stories. it was all one story, and it flowed brilliantly.
-andi -
Brilliant!
Absolutely wonderful. And I'm proud that I understood most of the words you defined ^_^ It was a great poem. I love the images that it produced in my mind. Beautiful and somewhat evil in the same sense, but then again, evil can come in beautiful forms. I don't mean evil in a bad way, I mean sort of creepy, like a goosebumps kind of thing. It's supposed to be a compliment ^_^ Great poem and I hope you win the contest! You deserve to!
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Wow
This was seriously amazing!!
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I love this in a way I can kind of picture a ghost or someone on the streets
In another sense I can picture exactly how I am feeling and being towards people, people watching, envy, wanting, needing, coming out of the docs thinking I dont care or give a shit...blah blah blah
I love the way you have written this, every reader can make their own view from this and its very good, I needed some of that translation...cheers xx
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