Waiting To Exhale

I’m holding my breath
Trying to push out what little
Heartache I have left
Because after this there’s no turning back
No more I’m sorry
Or I want US back
Because you should of thought about that
Before you said what you said
As you kept repeating those lies
And getting them stuck in my head.

I fell in love
That I won’t deny,
But the fact that you sat
There and lied to my face
Blaming me because you
Ended our faith to stay happy and in love.
I thought it was a gift from up above,
But it was a lesson
To see if I’ll pass or fail
And I failed with a passion
Because I did what I was afraid to do
I trusted you.
After what happened to me
I swore I would never trust again,
But living in this world
You have to learn to survive the game
And I thought WE could…together
Little did I know you went
Behind my back
And did God knows what
And expect me to cut you some slack
While you had the nerve to break MY heart.

What the hell was I thinking?
That being in love would
Cure all the pain and suffering
I’ve been through,
That being in love would
Shed the images of what
I didn’t want him to do.

I put you before me
I clothed you before me
Loved you before me
And you couldn’t even admit
What it was in me
That made you walk away.

Oh, here we go again
With that I’M THE ONE TO BLAME
Because I ain’t do shit.
You were the one I gave
My first real kiss to,
My love to,
My heart to,
My body to!
Just two years ago
It was all about you
And just seven poems ago
I was in love with you.
Now look at you
You’re with a woman who’s
Damn near ten years older than you
Someone who don’t have a job
And someone who can’t even support you
She can’t do it better than I could.
I gave you money when you didn’t have a dime
I let the secret out that you were mine
And despite the fact that
It was our third time
Trying to make a life together
I loved you pass the limit I was suppose to.
Gave up time with my family and friends
Just to hold you…

See I had to be by you
Because I was just so happy to be in love
Knowing that you loved me back
Made all my wished for happiness come true,
But it’s over, Boo.
“That’s something I never
Thought I would say,
Especially to you”
Were the last few words you said to me.
I cried and cried
Because you did this once before
To me
And I was dumb enough to go back, you see.
I think Cupid made a mistake
When he shot me in the back with your name
Because if it wasn’t for my poetry
I would have really gone insane,
But I’m just going to sit back
And reminisce on what we use to have
Because the love we had
I put in a box and set it ablaze
There’s no tuning back
Because the love I had for you
Is now in a little pile of black ashes…

And I wonder why you left me,
But all I know is that you was blind
Because Cupid didn’t make a mistake
When he shot my name in your back
It’s just that you’re that dumb and black
To later realize you’re going to miss me when I’m gone.

And now that you know
That I no longer love you
I can give this pen a rest
And stop the paper from starting a protest
And…….EXHALE.