I'm the tragic, sorry song that's in the body of a doll.
I'm a worn-out piece of garbage, 'cause now you don't care at all.
I'm the once-loved early Valentine, the gift that you forgot,
I'm sabotaged, and out of breath; You're loosening the knot.
I know you didn't notice when my fabric lungs had choked,
Couldn't smell my burning cotton from that cigarette you smoked.
I sit upon the highest shelf, the corner of your room.
Existing here, observing, in an open, dusty tomb.
You seem to just have left my ragdoll body to decay,
I'd promise you amusing games, but you don't want to play.
You know, I'd love to ask you, are you having any fun,
When the stitching of my arms and legs are partially undone?
Could you tell me what to do when firey passion's going bad,
Or whisper to me saying that I shouldn't be that sad?
I long to be your answer now, I long to shine like new,
Just be gone and then forget this, and forever remain true.
I will always be that ragdoll, sitting on your lonely shelf.
I would tell you that you hurt me, but you did this to yourself.
Author notes
November 6, 2008.... I wrote this about my ex, Kelsey. I compared myself to a ragdoll: worn out and once loved.
8) A poem on how you've ever had your heart broken.
A contest entry
- I'm alone......are you? by movedon.
700 points, ended November 25, 2008, 103 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
PLEASE be HONEST when commenting my writing. Tell me I SUCK, if that's what you think.
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wow this poem was AMAZING. I see why you have so many trophies!
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Yikes - the idea of a ragdoll being used and discarded in such a manner is heart rendering, but you handled the topic manner so very well -
Once this contest is over, I want to come back [when I can actually see who you are!] and add you to my favourites list - I absolutely adore your style of writing!
Thanks for entering
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Thanks, I'm glad you appriciate my writing!
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I thought that this was a very beautiful and a very sad write. I love the use of the ragdoll so that we can really look upon the struggle from somthing that we know. Like unwanted teddy's. Very nice write and very well written with an excellent flow and perfect use of rhyme and rythm. Thank you for the amazing entry.
However the rules do state that the poem that you enter can't have won first or second place in any other contests. Sorry but it is ana amazing write. xo -
I liked this piece and I like how you compared yourself to a ragdoll, Im glad you got the Gold Trophy Woot way to go, I seriously love this poem
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so usually i'm not that fond of rhyme, but this was alright. i liked it. it's a sad story, but interesting to read. i really like the second stanza, the imagery is wonderful.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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That was a very nice poem. Nice rhymes and patterns XD Great job!!
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Wow!
Am always amazed to read poetry written in this form. The long lined rhyming couplets here are fantastic and you managed to keep the flow through out. Great job.
Good luck in the contest. -
I hate it when to some people you are merely a puppet and when they are through with you, they just let you go and you drop and whatever happens to you they see it as no concern for them anymore, as they got what they wanted after all.
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This is so good and so sad that it left me speechless. Great job!
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You have a few typos that spellcheck will catch for you. This is a very good poem, full of heartache and anger. Love it! thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Lovely
This ragdoll that sits and waits in some unused corner. Great feeling and really good metaphore. Couldn't wait for the next line-wel done. -c
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The flow of this is great and the rhyme pattern is well executed. I like the whole "rag doll" metaphor and I feel you used it well to express your feelings.
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Garrison
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thank you for reading my contest rules to the full extent. Darling, I can strongly relate to all of your words. And I loved your "ragdoll" take. The flow was good, and the rhyming was on for the mos tpast. You're writing doesn't suck, trust me. My first thought when I read this was "holy crap there are a lot of words in this!" and I prefer short poems. But you wrote a lengthy poem I actually enjoyed. Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest.
ing alone,
Mylee -
sorry about my last comment...i meant to say from someone elses point of view. i'm reading about 3 poems at once.
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wow. where do i start. hearing this from a guys point of view is....so different. i know the feeling and it kind of makes me think that..youk know...what if i've done that to someone. you're an Exellent writer and i loved it from line one. thankyou so much. keep writing...Please!!
Cassi .x.O.x.
<3<3<3<3
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Actually, it's not from a guy's point of view.
I'm a girl who likes other girls... hah.
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