They blaze across the banks of shallow streams
flaming skirts that bellow boil and bend,
masking the realities of battle
where lie the tortured dreams of those condemned.
Springing from the sanguine ripened earth
to smother memories with opiate fumes,
each slaughtered life is cyclically cloned
each fertile seed regenerates and blooms.
The crimson blanket ripples in the haze
undulating o’er the silent bed,
to bring cold comfort into numbing sleep
smothering the deeds of those long dead.
Row on row all standing to attention
front line troops in scarlet uniform,
nourished by the blood of fallen heroes
who in turn will die and be reborn.
Short lives petered out on foreign fields
will not simply turn to dust and fade,
though vulnerable and fragile they appear
a call to arms will swell a new parade.
Author notes
Name:Val Ceres
Age:64
Sex female
Favourite genre:nature
Favourite form:villanelle
Reasons I wish to succeed in this challenge:If I was to succeed in this contest I would then be able to call myself a "poet" having risen to the challenge and proving to myself that I can master a variety of forms and take on any subject.
A contest entry
- Memories of Sacrifice - Winklings #142 by Lyndon.
1750 points, ended November 17, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold I by Salty Hibiscus.
400 points, ended February 19, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate La-La Challenge "Auditions" by Laura Lamarca.
850 points, ended August 13, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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You have such a way with rhyme, it just slides off the tongue. Your imageries and descriptions flow one into the next like a carefully oiled machine. I enjoyed this. Thank you for entering the audition round, I wish you luck!
Laura.
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Overall, wonderful imagery and content. Could you please place the required application form in your author's notes, as per contest rules? Thanks in advance. ~Hetha (co-judge of "The Ultimate La-La Challenge.")
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great rhyming scheme you crafted. thanks for sharing.
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WOW, I am gobsmacked!! Thankyou so much for honouring my poem with gold. I am proud of this achievement as every word I wrote held meaning for me, so from the bottom of my heart thankyou once again. Val
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A wonderful use of language and imagery with nice rhyme and meter. The second stanza was particularly filled with excellent poetic devices.
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Very well done. All the best to you.
In Remembrance
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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This is truely writing at it's best.The emotion spoken here is well placed.The words used to describe what you feel are perfect,well thought out and beautifully laid out.I can tell that you spent alot of time on this.You should be proud of this.Your rhyming is perfect.Gerat job.
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This is a superb poem! Wondefully well crafted, with a stirring cadence, fine rhyme and highly poetical in every manner. I just loved it! Great!
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The only thing I can think to say about this is that you should take a bow. Great piece of writing. Well done.
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this poem touched me as a soldier i feel like one day i will be able to relate to this poem in even a stonger sense but u have unbelievable talent and i would hope that you never stop writing i want to see more of this kind poetry
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This is a most poignant, heartfelt poem. It has been written in a strong, expressive manner, and is most moving. A truly compelling write; well done!
Chin up,
Summer Moon xx -
there is nothing i can say here, this is a strong and touching poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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This is truly amazing, wow it seems like I am stuck for words about this poem. All I know is that I really liked it very much and I am so thankful for you sharing it with me... Good luck and God bless you...
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This is so well written, and reminded me of my father's funeral in Australia (although he was an American WWII vet) and the Returned Servicemen's League (RSL, like the US VFW) threw poppies into the grave and said, "Lest we forget" -- the veterans of all the bloody wars rise up over and over, just as you suggest in your work... heroes always seem to rise when we need them. Good luck in the contest. This is a beautiful read.
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