I wonder if you meant to kill me
oh so softly with your touch
I tried to be the perfect girl
[[But perfect just is never good enough]]
Your soft skin and your
bright blue eyes
Intoxicate me baby
Please just one
[F
I
N Time.
A
L]
My memories keep me awake at night
The thoughts of you and what was i,
As I rise from my bed and look into the mirror
A tear falls down my face
As I /smash/ it,
I didnt
K
N The girl-
O standing there.
W
I've tried everything to make myself
F/o/r/g/e/t
the feelings I had with you
{Candy pills slide down so easily these days}
I thought you were gonna make my dreams come true
As I draw everlasting pictures
On my paper thin wrists
A wonderfully frightening novella
|That only barely exists|
You cross my mind
As you have A thousand times
And quickly the images become more elaborate
Somehow more,
Intense.
Suddenly flashing lights consume me
And my head is filled with dark
I think the souls around me are sad
But somehow, I feel
No remorse.
I wonder if you meant to kill me
Oh so softly with your memories
Thoughts of you consumed me baby
And they brought me too my-
K
N
E
E
S
Author notes
It still hurts to think about her sometimes.
This is kind of a cross between being addicted to medication to get you to sleep at night, missing someone with so much intensity that your actually almost addicted to them, and cutting to forget all the memories they left you with. Its such an intense pain that even through all that, no matter what you do you cant shake them or the feelings they left behind.
A contest entry
- The temptations of life by annesall235.
425 points, ended December 10, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Im a little rusty just tell me what you think
Comments
-
This is...brilliant, really. The form, the rhyme, the story, the pain--Magnificent. And the first stanza is the perfect hook. The only line I didn't like was "As I /smash/ it." It doesn't seem to go with the rest of the poem. I think it lacks...poeticness? Creativity? Things the rest of the write proves you have.
The "I wonder if you meant to kill me" lines are my favorite. They make me think about all the relationships people get into (90+% of which end badly) wonder how many of those people go into the relationship expecting it to end--perhaps even wanting it to.
Thank you for the wonderful read.
-
I literaly know exactly what you mean and i am not just saying that, I was going out with a girl named Alley for a year and one night on our way back from a party we were hit by a car (we were walking together) and she was killed, the pain of her death was so overwhelming that I thought i would never get over it, and honestly I still havent, cutting and drugs are what I turned to for a long time, and it worked but I never felt whole, I have been struggeling to quit both and so far I have gone a month without either, this poem is so real it is a slap in the face, but somehow in a good way, welcome to the finals
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