Sweet breeze
green&yellow trees
when everything seems unworthy
and nothing but mistakes is what you think of
then you fall back in time
trying to forget the things you did
wishing they're far away blown by the wind
but there's too much to forget about
too much for the time to erase
"It will only get worse, the winter is coming"
that's what you keep telling yourself
until suddenly the sun rises...
but wait ... the sun is behind the clouds
then who is this?
when you finally realize... it's her
it's a great relief when you see her face saying,
"Everything is okay dear, it's just a bad dream"
a kiss on the cheek and back to sleep
You hope it's not autumn again
at least not in your dreams.
A contest entry
- Less than 50 Trophies? Come On In! by AliceinPoetryLand.
1000 points, ended November 10, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Interesting - I found myself drawn into this, thinking, "who is it" - and then to find out its 'her' but I wasn't sure was that a good or a bad thing ...
I liked how this ran - it was easy to read, yet had a certain urgency to it, but at the end, I was left a bit hanging - like, I wasn't too sure what happened - what's wrong with autumn? How does that tie into a bad dream? I guess it just confused me a little?
But, on the whole, I enjoyed reading it - thanks for entering
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You are very good with imagery. I like readin the poems by you i have read so far because i can see what you are writing. I think i amgoing to read the rest of them as if i remmeber correctly it says there are only 6... that or im very tired and i imagined that .... anyhow
again great work
Laura. -
good job once again consider caps but other that that really good job u have great talent
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I love the first two lines.
Scenery's great.
"Sweet breeze
green&yellow trees"
~it sets the poem out beautifully.
I loved the ending.
Sarah ~
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great job habib!!
keep on!
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I love it
Its beautiful it's just very sing songy
it makes me want a cat nap too
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Nicely penned. This put a smile on my face, especially your ending. This has a nice flow to it, with some very unique thoughts.
Thanks so much for your entry
Gaylene
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