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If Not Love...

If it's not love that you want,
then what?

To bury our heads
in hands filled with lies?

We may not have been
created equal, you and I

With my meek behaviour
and your self-assured ways

But do give me this much,
we are all here for the same reason.

Author notes

any thoughts are welcome

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Danna Hobart
    December 17, 2008

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    Very interesting thought. It might make a little more sense to me, if I knew where you were and why you were there. If you are students in a classroom, you are there for an education, if you are employees in the same company, you are there for your paycheck, if you both are in the army, you are both serving your country... but then again, if you are talking about life in general, maybe he is here because his mother forgot her pill one night, and maybe you are here because your parents wanted a child more than anything. It's not fair to assume that we are all here for the same reason, though it looks good on paper.


    • nearlycivilized
      December 17, 2008
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      You make a good point, and you are right, maybe we were not brought to earth under the same circumstances. But, to me, once we are here and living, on a greater scale we are all just trying to get through life regardless of the different paths we are taking to make it to where we want to be. That's what I was suggesting. For me, I find comfort in that connection.


  • silverscent gold member
    December 14, 2008

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    I liked this.
    Let me start with a suggestion...did you mean "if it's not love..." on the first line?

    I think the overall impact is good. It's a subtle piece, yet it delievers an interesting message.

    The somewhat blunt ending "But do give me this much" was another aspect of this poem which I liked.

    Thanks for sharing.


  • Followthebutterfly
    November 21, 2008

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    huh good

    I only have one question What does
    'To bury our heads
    in hands filled with lies?' mean. But besides that it is good.


    • nearlycivilized
      November 22, 2008
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      haha, it's just my way of saying that we have both lied to ourselves and eachother, and I am asking if what he wants is to just bury his head in shame and move on instead of facing it.


  • poetic daughter
    November 17, 2008

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    Wow. I like this a lot. It's short yet very simple. It shows that you just want to know what the other person wants in the relationship or whatever it is. I like the very last bit as well. We ARE all here for the same reason. Very good, and keep the ink flowing!

  • Bob Fox
    November 14, 2008

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    Thinking

    Poet your words strike a chord. We are all the same I suppose. But we regress at times. Human nature perhaps. But the heart of this poet is true. & btw ty for you kind response on my poem

1 - 8 of 8