~ Hope ~
Faith destined
Seek possibilities
Conforming laws written by heart
Membrane torn, society looks on
Shackled nevermore
Blinkers removed
~*~ Freedom ~*~
Removed blinkers
Nevermore shackled
On looks society, torn membrane
Heart by written laws conforming
possibilities seek
Destined faith
~*~ Hope ~*~
Potential endless
Belief with flaming eyes
Rapid pulse, atoning heart and wishful smile
Arms open to mercy sweet kiss
Knees upon praying be
Soul close to hate
Plea forgiveness
~*~ Reborn ~*~
Forgiveness plea
Hate to close soul
Be praying upon knees
Kiss sweet mercy to open arms
Smile wishful and heart atoning, pulse rapid
Eyes flaming with belief
Endless potential
~ Hope ~
Author notes
For the poetic challenge round 5
Form : Palindorme
Beautiful art by : http://mehmeturgut.deviantart.com/art/pray-25643981
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Lexie,
This poem is simply divine!! I loved it. To start the image you have chosen is perfect.... one of the most beauiful I have seen!
I loved that you dove right into this. Too easy a challenge for you? lol. I do agree with bear about the 1 awkward line, but that is all I can find to critique.
You have wowed me! AGAIN!
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Thank you so much
I'm truly touched by your wonderful comment
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The darkness here is strong and deeply penned. You have done a fine job with this, the imagery and emotion are superb. Each one gives a different perspective in reverse, excellent work! And you went all out for the extra points I only managed 10 lines in mine
I do agree with my co-judges that one line is a little awkward but then this is one of the most difficult forms to do, I actually didn't know that. A dark and beautiful example of my fave form.
Your score is 98.1
Very well done! -
EXCELLENT
You penned a dimension into the this form that I would not have otherwise perceived and did so in a marvelous mastering of this form. beautifully done
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This is brilliant, and after reading your entry, as well as Roaddog Wolf's, I know that I have no place in this contest. Well done, and good luck
Laura
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I love the darkness here. Very powerful and vivid imagery as well as word usage. Nice job with the double palindrome.
I have to agree with the furry one that the line "Knees upon praying be" does sound a tad awkward.
Other than that, PERFECT!
My score
98
**Ktulu Blackwolfe**
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Oh Lexie :o
I could only get through the first part of your 2 Palindromes, before I was gaping in the mouth area!
~*~ Freedom ~*~
Removed blinkers
Nevermore shackled
On looks society, torn membrane
Heart by written laws conforming
possibilities seek
Destined faith
~*~ Hope ~*~
Knees upon praying be
That L does read a tad awkward frontwards ~
I have nothing else here to critique.....this is a splendid Palindrome.....each L has it's own strength and thought penned wisely throuhgout ~
I am pleased to see you took this to the 20 L's for the extra points.....Woo Hoooo!
This Form looks good on you......you should use it more often....it only becomes easier with time......good luck & God bless you,
Bear ~
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Bravo
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wow beautiful.
very wel donr hunny.
so proud of you.
love you
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Bravo! The Palindorme is one of the most dificult poetic forms to compose especially with the element of emotion. You have created a masterpiece here and by allowing us to read it backward you have given us two different perspectives. Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you sweetie
Wasnt the easiest thing to do at all!
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