Words WRITTEN (Give little JUSTICE to feelings FELT)

Dear Lachlan,

In a situation which would evoke happiness in normality,
There’s a part which can’t experience joy without you.
Laughter seeming so hollow lacking your beauty.
The colours fade to the dullest shades when you’ve left.
Every will is shallow if your not by my side.
Wishing as I lay to sleep, that you were there with me.
In your presence I find comfort.
Oh how I wish the world would pause for a moment.
And then, for just a moment, we would be alone.
Never have I experienced something so strong.
Never thought I’d succumb to the cliché words,
The overused phrases
But here I am writing them.
Typing my heart out to this laptop.
Laying in bed wondering if maybe, I cross your mind.

Giving an opportunity to destroy me,
An opening for destruction,
But somehow I stand as strong as ever around you.
Breathing in perfection.
Addicted to your charm.
While originality may be missed,
The truth amidst these phrases is real.

In the rollcall of my emotions,
Longing and desire remain in attendance.
I wish upon songs of lust that a not so awkward conversation could be reality.
Suppressing this in talk, but in writing its described.
My heart beats the tune of longing.
Craving for more.
Starving for you.

Smiles never more genuine.
Feeling as if maybe I’ve found somewhere I belong.
Somewhere with you.
As you hold me I never want to let go.
You smell as good as you taste.
Your scent lingering as I struggle on home,
Your kiss remaining on my lips as time falls away.
No one has meant as much to me as you do.
Incapable of not missing you.
Even if I saw you when the clock chimes 2 hours ago,
I cant get you out of my head.
All I have to ask you is this:
“what have you done to me?”
It seems as if I’m tainted with a ghost of you where ever I go.
Maybe distracted but never completely averted.

I dreamt of you laying cold in your coffin.
I can still feel the extreme hopelessness and overwhelming loss I felt in that fictional scene.
Typed words sound so petty compared to the desperation of the event.
I could literally feel myself plunging toward depression at breakneck speeds
It was like a river had engulfed me.
-I was drowning in the air you no longer breathed.
there were so many things I still wanted to do,
So many things I still needed to say.
So many moments lost in anxiety and worry.
I awoke with tears streaming.
Clenching my pillow tight.
As I shivered in the cold, I reassured myself it wasn’t real;
But what if it was?
Honestly, if you were to die,
I don’t know how I’d cope.
How would I be expected to feel without your smile?
…Is there anything I could hope for less?

So this might sound sentimental and therefore corny.
My words are not beautifully structured,
And the metaphors are scarce.
Imagery is talentlessly described,
Moments are not conveyed with emotion
And even spell-check cant save me now.
I’m not sure if these sentences mean much,
But I’ll write them anyway.
Because the thing that matters,
Is I mean every single one of them.

So there’s my form of love letter.
Although there is so much more to say,
I’ll leave the cursor blinking till the next time the save button is used.