“Daniel? How did you find me here? It doesn’t matter because I’m not going back—please, just pay attention! This isn’t the drugs talking, it’s me and I need you to listen. If you only knew… I know you’re wondering how I’m awake and well, alive and standing here now, but I can explain everything. While I was out I had this dream—vision—whatever you want to call it. I’m at this gathering and my friends and family are laughing and talking with one another. And I try and try, but none of them can notice me. It’s like I’m a ghost, I don’t exist. And the feeling of worthlessness and emptiness is so utterly repulsive that I actually begin to feel sick to my stomach. My gut burns and fills with acid. There’s so much inside me, I feel like I could explode at any moment. And as I gag my insides up I am met with the oddest sensation of relief. Like somehow this purging has unburdened me of guilt, of frustration, fear or embarrassment. I am in some bizarre fashion free from these unworldly feelings. It’s so incredible that I-I actually embrace it. Soon I’m up to my ankles, then my knees. And I’m so consumed by my desire for this liberation that I actually flood the world with my own excrement. My family, my friends, every last person on the Earth is swept away by the oceans of my filth. By the time I notice it’s already been too late. Again, I am suddenly engulfed with disgust. Only now, I’ve already heaved up so much that there’s nothing I can do to rid myself of this anguish. And that, Daniel, was when I experienced the most astonishing revelation: that I wasn’t ridding myself of pain or freeing myself of sorrow by vomiting it up. I realized that what had come out of me was still inside, only now I could see just what a mess I’d made inside myself all these years. No one put that wretched discharge inside me. I had made it myself. This is the truth I had to come to terms with to wake from a coma. It was the only way. And my vast corruption is probably what got me there in the first place. If you only knew what I know, Daniel. Well, now its time to pay my dues…”
I don't usually write drama/monologues, but hey I plug my brain in and stuff comes out...
Comments
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It's interesting and your style, I suppose, but, if it were me, I would be tempted to break it up with some dialogue rather having just be your own thoughts and physical reactions.
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I think you might consider dividing this up into paragraphs to make it easier to read. It's early in the morning (relatively) and I am intimidated by that block of text. To be honest.
The beginning sounds promising. "This isn't the drugs talking," etc. I will try to get back to it later.
jjj
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hahaha thanks man
actually i had considered making more of a structured layout, but I want the reader to jump from sentence to sentence. I want this piece to flow as fast in your mind as it does mine. You don't have to read it, but I'd sure appreciate it!
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Awesome write here
Yes I feel you have penned this with much truth for as a young person we often enduce things we shouldnt and throguh time this waste we enduced growss and eventually we feel we can no longer see over around or under it to find our way .People around us begins to ignore us for we stopped listening to their warnings long agao and they feel their is no use to try anymore .For you will have to swim in this self waste untill you see it yourself and so often become lost within it near taking ones own life before you wake up to the reallity it was your own doings no one elses fault but your own and once awakened by reallity can find their way back home to health once again and in doing so is no longer invisible to their family and friends
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excellent analysis!
you pretty much nailed it :]
thanks for taking the time to comment
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Very well written
Amazing how this is so true, you get caught in the commotion of self-awareness that you tend to forget what is in important right here now. Everyone eventually pays redemption or some kinda due in their lives, but never fall short of corruption that caused the commotion they put oneself in. Hope this isn't trebible talk. Excellent story. Saddie23
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thanks for your feedback!
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