I.
one unconscious subconscious
real-dream bomb, you in
my country's camouflage
torn and tattered,
shattered,
dead.
those eyes, lifelines--
closed now, never shining,
my pillow is wet with tears
i'm wrenched with the fear that i can't/won't
go on the same without you.
air-raid siren/alarm clock,
wake up,
reality tells me you're living
and i breathe again.
II.
snow flies and falls
and flickers past my headlights,
it's gray skies and school,
routine until i come home to death.
and you're not in camouflage
you're not wearing anything
and it's the last time i'll see you whole
and there's no siren/alarm/bell to wake me up--
--my nightmare has plucked me and
ingested you and made us
prisoners,
no breathing for me
no breathing for you.
Author notes
true story.
part 1: dream
part 2: reality
A contest entry
- The End of Dreams by KayJay.
2400 points, ended November 10, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
rip it
Comments
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wow!
This is so...terribly beautiful. I've had dreams similar to that, but never any that came true! Well, on to the poem, you followed the prompt really well. The poem felt like a dream, with broken phrases, and symbolic imagery that sent chills down my spine. It usually bugs me when there aren't any caps in a piece, but it seemed to fit here. When you're dreaming the words don't really matter. There's nothing you can say to describe it. What you see is what's important. Very well done! You channeled your emotion into this write, and came out with a masterpiece. Well done!
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Man, this is pretty chilling, it's really creepy when your dreams come true, even worse when it involves death like this. My condolences for your lost my friend, hopefully you will not have any more encounters like this. Thanks for sharing and best of luck.
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