Goddess hear me, I plead to you now.
I forsake heartache
chaining me down,
when instead of wasting my life away,
I should be soaring high
in the clouds. . .
Guilt riddles me, I'm unworthy of your gifts.
I loved a man once and he broke me into pieces.
I am now tiny fragments,
what I could have been.
They filter now through hands of a true artist,
and confusions abound;
frustrating necessary growth, and
befuddling innocent motives.
If only I could love without restraint
he requires all of me, good or bad,
and this precept causes me to panic. . .
I await Zeus' thunderous presence to steal
the light from the morning sky.
I should be so lucky.
He could strike me down
in blazes of thunderbolts.
Hera's revenge; for I am a
coward when it comes to love.
I implore you, my splendid goddess-
Strengthen my ability to maintain courage,
for I am jelly, in the eyes of apathetic love,
resisting the Fates prophecy;
shameless,
denying myself a chance for
True Destiny to take control.
As I wake,
I'll know
my love has not
passed me by. . .
Author notes
image is Malachite Formation 2, by Matthew Slade
A contest entry
- Quickie Anyone?? by Sweet Impatience.
950 points, ended November 8, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
yes, but what do you think?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This poem is beautifully written. Nay, this poem is crafted, with great skill and with a love of words that will entice the reader to continue.
If this had been written by anyone else, I would have been greatly impressed, but I have read several of your poems and so for me, the strength of your passion is not here.
Normally you write with such strength and passion that I am left breathless, just not in this case.
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Awesome hun
Such a beautiful and crafted poem
True Destiny to take control.
As I wake,
I'll know
my love has not
passed me by. . .
Wishing you all the best always
Julie x
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sis you are truly brilliant!!! I love how you portrayed this piece!!! You are truly amazing!!! This so outstanding!!! I love the details and descriptions!!!!!!!!!
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Outstanding
This is full of soul searching- a prayer to the goddess asking for strength and courage. I loved all the emotion and how you devloped your ideas. We all have self-doubt at times and face tough challenges. I am sure you will win through.Best of luck in the contest.
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Truly a heart felt plea that the Goddess above will
Answer in love and trust. This is a well crafted poem, that speaks to all that seek.
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i really loved the wordplay in this, particulary "forsake heartache" (2), but i wonder if you could make it more approachable by changing the persona? I can see it's a very personal poem (what poetry isn't personal?) but maybe rewritten so that the "I" becomes one of Zeus' amours, or even Athena, erupting from his brain. You could put a really good feminist twist on this and widen appeal (2nd stanza is pretty much there already).
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WOW! WOW! WOW! Okay this is amazing! Incredible. I am in love with this poem. Hehe. I love the words you've chosen to use and the strong emotions displayed throughout. Great flow. This is definitely getting a trophy!!!
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Damn this is good. the emotions are quite strong throughout this piece. You've done an excellent job with this. I'm sure that the Goddess hears you and that she is there .. you're not a coward for having these kinds of feelings. there are many of us who have gone through this more times that we want to admit. but its happened. you're not alone in this, trust me.. I really enjoyed reading this.
good luck
kat
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