Her eyes are open.
The scene she views
isn’t seen by others.
It’s painted in hues
of memories bright
with love and pain
that continually haunt
the emptiness that remains.
Water, it’s said,
is the essence of life.
The loneliness felt
cuts like a knife.
No words remain
for her to speak.
Her feelings are seen
as life runs down her cheek.
Author notes
Prompt: “scarlet moonbeams
swims in her eyes
like the color of nocturnal poem
bleeding like flesh wounds” ~ Sweet Sorrow
Picture Credit: haunting memories @ deviantart.com
30 to 60 words
A contest entry
- Beneath The Darkness of Velvet Sky...Prompt is UP! by Sweet Sorrow.
1800 points, ended November 15, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome but I Won't Turn Down Fluffy One's Either :D
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Water, it’s said,
is the essence of life....I think this lines had no consequence with te message you want to conveyed.
The repeatition of the word "her" on the last three lines distruct the ending, a little toning perhaps will enhance this piece. Thank you for sharing and goodluck -
this is a exelent take on the prompt, I love every word of it!
Best of luck!
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So sad! We all have memories that haunt I believe.
Love how you tied in the water of life to it running down her cheek!
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I really love this poem especially the 2nd stanza. the imagery that you've created with your words is fabulous..
You do have a way with words.
good luck in the contest
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Mmmm ..
" Water, it's said
is the essence of life.
....as life runs down her cheek"
What an amazing image!!!
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