Dear Madam,
I write to you in times dark and of ill ease,
I've recently been a moth to several flames you see,
Alas, aside from damaged wings or ego dealt a blow,
The furious pump which drove my ambition of flight,
Appears to lack the luster, it once proudly knew,
I believe, it may be broken.
In these times of recession, poverty and concern,
Man only really has one true security of which to turn to,
The love of a beautiful woman or a bottle of booze, rarely both.
I, never drinking unless for occasion quite special, turned,
To one glorious woman after another, each scorning me,
In their own unique and intricate fashion, powerful creatures.
And thus, i've decided, perhaps there is a woman,
Of shall we say, particular use for a heart like mine.
It beats with the ferocity of a lion when it's in it's bloom
And has the wear and tear of something more than experienced
In the field of which it is required the most. Certainly, a device
Of which you could so sorely stand to acquire in your line of work.
I shall leave it in good care for you, although, as you can imagine,
I shall not be there when you come to retrieve it, your methods
To me seem somewhat barbaric, and the bathtub of ice has become
Oh so cliche in modern times, if you were truly an artist,
You would be aware of such a fact. In any case, i must attend to matters,
There is so much to do, when you decide to give a lady your heart.
Author notes
Personally i thought the end had a rather nice twist to it.
A contest entry
- Odd........(CLICK ME) by Jaffa-.
510 points, ended February 6, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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"You would be aware of such a fact. In any case, i must attend to matters,
There is so much to do, when you decide to give a lady your heart."
i have to agree, the ending is rather good. in all, this is a well put together write. i enjoyed the format of the letter.
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Oh! This is captivating! Like a moth attracted to light this poem sucks the reader right in and takes hold of his soul. You have the perfec poetic voice for the dark genre. It's pointed, simple yet instills depth and thought.
Love,
Amera♥
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I really liked the way you set this out and the flow was really well done. I loved the wording and the way you wrote it as a lettr to someone. Really well done. Thanks for the entry.
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aww wow....this is amazing, i really adorded this, and i'm sure any woman (make that "true" lady) would take your heart and give you her own.
bravissimo!
Stephanie ♥
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I like the way you think!
Again, a very good poem-- only, it feels a tad.. 'unpolished 'is the word, I suppose.
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What a great voice
When I read it I can hear it spoken, it has a presence, a personality that shines off the page. I would love to hear it read aloud by you or some fine young man in good voice. I feel a little vaklempt... -
I love the story telling/narrative flow to this. This is my favourite kind of poetry and you write it wonderfully! This is the second of your works I have read and you're fast becoming a favourite!
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yes, yes you may
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So many things to attend to in affairs of the heart. Especially, when it is to be only for one! What an awesome write. Glad I stopped by to read. Great penning. ~Sie
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Poetry from four chambers of the heart served with a slice and ice. Well written with a twist of the wrist, assertive attitude and grist. Neat.
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Good write here
Very well worded and true in many ways keep up the good work and will check back on some of your new work in the future
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Outstanding!
Well done, this poem is written beautifully. I wouldn't change a thing... You're very gifted. Keep up the amazing writing!!! I'll look forward to reading more from you.
-Ashley
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hell ya it did
wow *praise* that was awsome my friend
this s very good don't change a thing
wow man this was truely mind blowingly fantastic
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clever, clever imagery!
I loved how you wrote this poem...
you kept it real...with touches of
tender vulnerability and just a touch
of angst...it truly captivated us to
read each word carefully.....
love that twist at the end!
What clever wit you released in this
poem!
as we women are truly creatures of
varied disguise!
well done! well done!
pleasure to read, thankyou for sharing
it with all of us!
ears/Seattle -
Phil you are so amazing, you are the guy that every girl wants to have I love you hun. This is outstanding, beautiful, and intricate in even the smallest of ways. ~ Kerri
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Your too sweet
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I wouldn't touch a word of this honestly. The only thing I really suggest is to not make the caps at the begininng of each line. It messes a bit with the reading flow and punctuation. As for the contests, again do not touch it. It is flawless in my eyes. The emotion is there, it's unique, creative and strong enough to make me tear up. Fantastic write Phil.
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