Waiting in the hallway,
lit by swinging half-burnt bulbs
that hum to each other,
in an eerie musical.
Shadows in the corners growing,
reaching out to swallow me whole
with the dark arms of night.
My heart falling
to the dirt stained carpet,
as I wait for an answer,
from the silent humming hall,
my foot etching circles
into the brown floor.
Soft footfalls suddenly come
my eyes rise up,
hearing rusty bolts creaking,
and a door opening,
to revel a neverland.
Author notes
take it as you will.
dark falling neverland
A contest entry
- Lots Of Options by stargazer..
525 points, ended December 27, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Writes Since 1st November 2008! by Midnight-x-Rose.
700 points, ended November 15, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 1583 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? How can I improve? What was your least favorite part? Your favorite?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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very good I liked it and thanx for the comment you gave me and my favorite line on here is the ending it was perfect soft footfalls suddenly come my eyes rise up now that puts excite meant
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Seems there are many who like your stuff! I particularly like this one, though I'm danged if I can say exactly why?! Screw it, I know what I like!!
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lol! You crack me up! Thank you! I guess you can say that you made my day twice! I don't know if thats possible, but you did it! XD
Thank you for taking an interest in my poetry! You make me feel special.
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Very intense and deep...keeps ones attention to the end and the closing line pulls it all together...very creative and well written.
Best,
mystic
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so strange, but so intense I like how it's different.
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Dark,falling,neverland
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