Standing here, with you looking at me,
I wonder in my mind, what can you see?
Deep in my heart, I’m longing to be,
Someone you want, in every degree.
I still can’t believe, you’re really mine,
I’m so lucky, that our lives entwined.
To me, you’re just so divined,
I know with you in it, my life will be fine.
I don’t know, the best words to say,
My love for you is pure, in every way.
I guess my prayers to Allah, sure did pay,
I don’t know how, but I love you more everyday.
By Hardluck
A contest entry
- 48 Hours Photograph Inspired Quickie for my wife Hafsa Bintey Faruq(20 poems. So please reserve your place) by Sabir Abdus Samee.
445 points, ended December 3, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do I need to do to make it better?
Comments
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Simply Gorgeous...
A beautiful poem with divine words, so un-forced and it flows beautifully. It holds words full of depth and emotion. This poem is ridden with
love-stricken words. And only could have come from your heart. Outstanding job. Sorry I was late commenting, as I commented before, I am sick...
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Allah to Abba, otherwise any woman would be blessed to get a poem like this...and even marry the guy...be blessed brother.
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This poem is a great addition to poetry and song as I could imagine this as lyrics for a song like so many great poems could be turned into song. Other than lyrics this stands as an excellent poem written from the heart. I like the way you use mood and sensory details in your poetry.
I remember one of my "November" poems - very special month for me; so many memorable dates. So I just love November! A beautiful poem, seriously, beautiful.
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The rhyming is amazing. It flows so smooth and isn't forced at all
great write.
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