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Deaths Temptation

As i trudge through the snow,
on my way to school.

Just as i pass a twisted turvy tree.

there afore my eyes i see
a Grey beauty.

His rump splattered with black dots everywhere.

as i walk to him,
he stands stone still.

As i walk close to him,
he lopes four steps away.

is he real?
or am i imagining this glory before me?

If only i could feel its soft grey coat,
oh i would know.

As i step four steps to him,
6 steps he takes from me.

I walk to him and stop.
he does not move.

a car is coming
but i just have to feel him .

as i hit the center he is right there
i can feel his breath on me. and the car hits us both.

NO! i cry as it hits him.
but it passes through him as if he is wind.

i stand up seeing him there
Walking up to him.

Can i touch you now? i ask as i reach out to see.

light swarms around me as they carry my body out.

I climb up on my beauty's back.
Never looking back on my dead self.

just looking onward to my new life,
astride my boys back

Author notes

What inspired me for this poem was my friends were talking about a dream she had, and it involved a horse, dappled grey, and it led her to her death. I thought even though it was more of a nightmare, i kind of liked the idea, and i turned it into more of a beautiful kind of way to die, than what most people view death as.And for me, i write alot of poems about death and despare, but i wanted to write about death in a lighter tone.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • tears.of.silence
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    this poem was not bad at all. great work. You've got a 10 for this poem. You've made a total of 50 points so far. Kahy


  • Umi Juvariel
    March 25

    Edit | Reply
    That almost made me cry, which is hard. That really does seem a beautiful way to die. The colors were a little harsh, other than that, I enjoyed this. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • XxAmongtheBrokenxX
    March 2
    Edit | Reply
    A nice addition to the contest! Thank you for entering!


  • FallenxAngelxMisfit
    February 17
    Edit | Reply
    you did not put what inspired this poem into you note plz do that but other than that good write


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    February 10
    Edit | Reply

    Goose Bumps!

    What a thrilling and mysterious adventure/story you took me through here. I enjoyed every word of it. I was enthralled by the story -line. It drew me in. The ending was kind of beautiful, even though he died, I thought it was a lovely way for his spirit to be taken away; on the back of this gorgeous horse. A good thriller.

    Thank you for your entry! Best of luck to you.


  • Rheea gold member
    February 5
    Edit | Reply
    quiet creative you are this was lovely.


  • Denerica
    February 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wow what a dream that was, eternal bliss with a horse, but let us not hope you would really end up that way...the color was hard on these eyes, but you did well for the young writer you are, keep penning. Blessings.


  • LoveGoneMad
    January 23
    Edit | Reply

    Great Write...

    Very moving and emotional.


  • serenity silvermoon
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    wow great write and very scary i loved this whole poem there is nothing i would change about this poem thank you for sharing


  • Beautiful-Mistake
    January 16
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing write. Great imagery, and good use of wording. Good luck in my contest.


  • rsugg
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!!

    This is an excellent write. Very moving and emotional. Great imagery. I love the flow of this and such a great ending too.

    The color of the text with this backgroung makes it difficult to read though.

1 - 11 of 11