Striding
Through
The
Forest
Wild
Stag,
Cocked
His
Head
Eerie
Base
Sounds,
Permeated
The
Forest
Tip-toeing
Through
Underbrush,
Peered
Around
A tree
In
Lotus
Position
Naked
Male
Sat
Peculiar
Protuberance
Extended
From
His
Lips
Dulcet
Tones
Resounded,
Stag
Became
Handsome
Prince
Lost
Balance
Passed
Out
Fell
Through
Undergrowth
Grounding
With
A thud
Startled...
Didgiredoo**
Player
Stood
Up
Saw
Feet
Sticking
Out
Investigating
Saw
Body
Handsome
Face
Lust
Filled
His
Heart
Fetching
Water
Splashed
On
Face
Handsome
Knight
Revived,
Love
At
First
Sight
Troubadour +
Packed
Knapsack;
Didgeridoo
On
Mule
Horse
Brought
By
Handsome
Knight
Two
Men
Mounted;
Rode
Into the
Night
Morning
In
Castle
Wedding
Vows
Exchanged +
Breakfast
Eaten,
Queen
Blessed
Relationship
Troubadour
And
Knight,
United
For
Life
Author notes
Read at a Poets West Venue, Seattle, Wa., 3/21/2009 DCK http://poetswest.org/venues.htm +
For information on a couple of same sex marriage rites in the Middle Ages; just click on these links: http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/2rites.html
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWO,RNWO:2008-24,RNWO:en&q=%3Coffice+of+same+sex+union%3E
* Tibetan Singing Bowls: http://www.bodhisattva.com/?gclid=CM2el7z93pYCFRs-awod5yh22w
** For information about the Australian Aboriginal Didgeridoo musical instrument, please click on these Wikipedia Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Didgeridoo
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigenous_Australian_music + For more information on a 'troubadour', just click on this Wikipedia Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troubadour For a list of Didgeridoo Players in the United States, just click on this list: http://music.mills.edu/dreamtime/player_list/index.html Minor editing done on: 12/12/2008 DCKIn a list
- Fantasy • next in list
- Society • next in list
- Bare Bones Poetry *(one word/line) • next in list
- Didgeridoo • next in list
A contest entry
- Ones With Wanderlust- Free Spirit Poetry by Mercury Rising.
850 points, ended June 16, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 84 of 84
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very good keep the good work up and i know that you going to continue to blow us all away with your petry . simple it is but very profound , few words but that is a very good thing it has a greater impact that way . poet need not be dull but good like this
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Thank you for your compliments, comment, and applause for I do appreciate them.
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So much in so little. symbolism of the digeridoo (one of my fave instruments) is as fun as saying the instruments name. I liked what i almost skipped. Thanks for the oppurtunity
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Thank you for your humorous comment; compliments, and applause for I do appreciate them.
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Hmm.. fascinating way to tell a tale. I've not read poems written like this before. You use words well.
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Thank you, my friend. I happened to write this one in a favorite restaurant after eating breakfast. I often write my poetry in restaurants and/or coffee shops, or parks, weather permitting.
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Haha, I enjoy writing poems in a local coffee shop.
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Yep, that way one gets caught on their security cameras doing the "dirty deed"! (lol)
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brilliant
startiling image of the outback and its' aboriginal instrument. strong description of sound with words unhindered and foriegn yet provided in a way that an englishman might understand. strong work and fine story of a moment.
well done,
kevin o'connor
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Thank you for your kind comments; compliments and applause for I do appreciate them. I hope you took the time to click on the external links provided. The last one, with the phrase 'dreamtime/player' in it is a worldwide list of individuals who play the Didgeridoo. I do not know how up to date the list is, however. I hope you have a good day.
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Very interesting to read, amazing nevertheless (:
Thanks for sharing
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Thank you for your comment, and compliment. I would have given you two stars for your comment except "the powers that be" have a computer program designed to, supposedly, do our thinking for us.
You reviewed my poem, and I believe I ought to be the only one who rates it, not some foolish computer program that mistakenly thinks that longer comments are more valuable to me than shorter comments. The meaning I see in the comment, is more important to me than number of characters in the comment. Can you believe it their computer program stars comments by the number of characters in the comment! Wierd, eh? Obviously computers can't think!!!
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A most interesting read. I find Bare Bones unique in it's ability to make the reader consider each word carefully, and then linking it to the next one. I was also most intrigued by the story of this poem. One wonders what inspired such a tale.
All in all, a most excellent piece of work. Bravo -
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Thank you for your thoughtful comments & compliments. I do appreciate them. The current social/political/religious conflict
over same sex marriage inspired it. If you haven't already, you might like to click on, and read my first two footnotes, the contents of which may surprise you.
I believe in the separation of church and state, try googeling:
james madison - separation of church and state. This site provides some fascinating reading material.
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Love the poem and the wonderful lines
everything about your write was a wonderful
delight.. I enjoyed reading your work
thank you for sharing you gift
Hugs Angel♥
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Thank you for your compliments; comments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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Lust filled his heart I loved your poem. Very myistical and magical. I really loved this. And even a castle wedding excellent write. Thank you for sharing and I enjoyed reading
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Thank you for your comments and compliments for I do appreciate them.
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really interesting how you've written this... what can I say? it truly is bare bones, and taking that into account, you've done well with it.
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Thank you for your comments, and compliment for I do appreciate them.
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well, I will say it is different, certainly, you can say this is a "oner" without the least fear of contradiction.... thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for your humorous comment; and indirect compliment. I do appreciate them.
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what can i say
i have just read this several times and have just realized that i am not actually reading it at an intelllectual level, but feeling its warmth and seeing its colour, and i go for more, can words produce more than than what even the writer intended, can a poem be a song, a picture..yes i believe it can when it is written in this unique form. a great achievement....thanks
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Thank you for your thoughtful comments; compliments, and applause for I do appreciate them. I think the best thing about Bare Bones Poetry format is that it can, and often does, engage the readers imagination to fill in, as I often say, the "special effects".
That is why I enjoy writing in this form.
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I really admire your bare bones, no frills style of composition which for some reason reminded of the beginning of the 'Hercules' cartoon, where the narrator says, 'A gentle doe drinks from a quiet mountain stream. Little does he know what evil lurks, as the wicked Wilimena emerges from her cave with a poison apple etc..' Anyway, an excellent piece of mixed myths that was a pleasure to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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Thank you for your comments; compliments, and applause for I do appreciate them.
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I started reading this and was pulled right down the page because of the way you had setout. The stag in the woods reminds me of my JJ telling me how he had confronted a buffalo in the north of queensland and hid behind a tree so the buff wouldn't see him. This was very well written and commend you on the effortless flow that took us on this journey. A delight to read.
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Thank you for your comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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nice poem!almost,like a,what do i say,but it's a nice piece of poetry,i like your style of writing,and your choice words.
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Thank you for your comments; compliment, and applause. I do appreciate them. This is a Bare Bones Poem.
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Quite lovey
Short words and lines...more like a quiet song. Knights and lust and stags. -c
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Thank you for your comment; compliment, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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Your style, as I'm sure you're aware, has the advantage of throwing the reader out of their normal scanning comfort zone. One is forced to look at each word as a unit before connecting it to the words which precede and follow it; while this can lead to some choppiness, it's probably worthwhile given its unique benefits. You might consider using commas and other punctuation a bit more liberally during those stanzas where you tackle more than one action/idea, just to avoid having it feel too 'breathless.' An interesting work, regardless.
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Thank you for your intriguing comments, however, I take it you are not familiar with this style of poetry. It is Bare Bones Poetry. e e cummings also used this form, as well as, once in a while writing 1 syllable/line poetry. I do believe there is a Bare Bones Poetry Association, if you would like more source material on this style. I choose to allow the reader to use his or her imagination, to interpret a poem rather than providing all of the "special effects". If you find it choppy, then that is just your personal reaction to this style of writing poetry. If you read the other comments, I'm sure you'll find that others do not agree with your perspective.
None the less, I respect your observations, and thanks for commenting. -
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The choppiness is not necessarily inherent to the style, so much as something that almost always occurs when one writes with such extreme economy: "Breakfast eaten, Queen blessed relationship" for example. I didn't mean to imply that you hadn't thought about how your work, or that choppiness is necessarily bad. I think for the most part it works quite effectively in this piece.
Thanks for the info on the style, I'll be sure to check it out one of these days. -
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The economy of words is what makes this style of poetry effective. Just use your imagination; and have fun with your poetry, it isn't all academic.
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The style is excellent, and the content brings me peace of mind allowing me to fly with you in this story
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Thank you for your comment; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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Cool, brought me back lol. Thats an interesting style, I like it.
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Thank you for you kind comments, and compliment. I do appreciate them.
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Real bush tucker music ... a bull roarer sound in the valleys together with music stix ...hunting with a Woomera ...wonderful Coroberee for us mob bewt write poet
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Thank you for your comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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Ok this was definitely not what I expected when I clicked on the title.
Why are you writing every word in a line? And why isn't there grammar?
Is this a certain form..
I got the overall idea but the lack of grammar really annoyed the hell of out me (I was editor of a mag so yeah Grammar is sacred to me!)
Nada -
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This is a valid form for poetry. It is called Bare Bones Poetry. There have been many poets who have written in this form. Try e. e. cummings, to name just one.
I found a poem of his on the Internet, where he wrote 1 vowel per line poetry.
Try the Bare Bones Poetry Association (I think that is what it is called.) I love this form of poetry, because the reader needs to use his or her imagination to picture the details. One does not need to always provide the "special effects".
How ever, if you choose not to like this format, that is perfectly fine with me.
Thanks for your comments.
For more info on e.e. cummings, just click on this google reference:
http://www.americanpoems.com/poets/eecummings
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GWYA,GWYA:2009-02,GWYA:en&q=e%2Ee%2E+cummings+%2D+poetry
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reads like a telegram from another time
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Thank you for your comment, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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Interesting read. Certainly a unique setting for the characters. Word lay out really added to the flow and imagery.
Nice read
Jem
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Thank you for your comment; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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a very interesting worte from you. though i do not agree with all the messages poetry on this site sends, i can appreciate the beauty of the writing and the courage of the poet. viyanna rosemarie
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Thank you for your most thoughtful comments; compliments, and applause, for they are deeply appreciated.
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this was a really good poem.. I love the structure of it.. and the imagery was well detailed too, which is great for a reader like me
I truly enjoyed reading this.. thank you very much for sharing..
Angel
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You are quite welcome. Thank you for your comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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You have a way with telling a story & writing a poem. This was an interesting read with good
images to accompany the reader's mind. Liked it
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Thank you for your comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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awesome write
good fairytale!lovely poem, it kinda reminds me of the fairytale when the princess kisses the frog, and the frog turns into a dashing prince. the imagery you used in your poem made your poem seem very animated. keep going, i think you are on to something. -
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Thank you for your comments, and compliments. I do appreciate them.
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Wow I am so glad I clicked on this!,I really enjoyed reading this and I love how you wrote this,in my book this is hands down a masterpiece in my book!
Regards,Hazel
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Thank you for your comment; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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I like the way you organized your poem. Each word had a place and a meaning. Great imagery diction and the background is oh so suiting
I should read more of your work as it pleased me so. I like how there are links in your AN. I mean i know what a digeridoo is but.. the marriage right? thats really interesting! A nice touch.
great job
♥Kat
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Thank you for your most thoughtful comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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my pleasure!
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~*~*~*Awesome*~*~*~
Great write! I found it really enjoyable! Thanks so much for the share! You are very talented! I really cannot wait to read more of your works and comment on them as well!!!!
I'd love to hear back from you, so feel free to take a look at my work and comment on it!!!!
Thanks again!
~*~*~*Heroesrox~*~*~*~ -
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Thank you for your comments and compliments. I do appreciate them.
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Well thought out. Well done. You are almost soft spoken in your prose. Your words themselves are interesting. I enjoyed this world. Thanks!
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Thank you for your comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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Who would have thought
didgeridoo would make number five on Carlin`s list.
Another example of two countries being separated
by the same language.
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Thank you for your comment, and applause. I do appreciate them. By the way, what is "Carlin's List"? I googled Carlin's List and here is the URL for it: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=RNWO,RNWO:2008-24,RNWO:en&q=Carlin%27s+List+%2D+poetry
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WOW! This is so beautiful I have tears in my eyes!And not sure if you meant it to be this way or not but the way you put the words to me looks like foot prints right down the centre of the page! True feelings of love I always find so beautiful!
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Thanks for your thougtful comments, and compliments. I do appreciate them.
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I not only love your poetry, I love your references! This is just such a great way to read poetry and learn... enjoyed this very much!
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Your pattern is different I enjoyed reading this poem its your choice of words make this an effective piece!
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Thank you for your comment; compliment, and applause, for I do appreciate them.
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hmm
freat write DAHM the Stag well pleased,
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Thank you for your comment; compliment and applause.
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so amazing! this is so unique and great. i love the imagery and i love the story. love it all <3
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Thank you for your comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them. Here's a link to a poem of mine, called "Bottle of Wine".
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3559534
If you click on the links I've provided, in my author's note section, I think the one for Omar Khayyam, may interest you the most. Although the others may also be of interest.
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I like the story here.Although I myself would not have chosen the form that you chose it gives a good message.You were easy to follow and the response to this is that I thought good for you ,writing about something sensitive and that needed to be said.Great job.
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Aye, my one word per liners, or Bare Bones poetry, as I call it, are a wee bit different. However, at least I don't do like E. E. Cummings did, in one of his poems
wrote one vowel per line. That one was a challenge to understand. I appreciate your comments; compliments and applause. I hope you found the footnotes (URL's) helpful as well.
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Outstanding
This is an interesting poem. I like the freedom of your style of writing at the moment it is very unique. I liked the fantasy elements in this poem and the flow. Fantastic to read.
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Thank you for your very kind comments; compliments, and applause. I do appreciate them.
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Hello. A strong write, certainly having a homosexual knight, was a strong point to make, shattering traditional fairy tales, but being a fairy tale in its own right, am sure you know what I mean. Nice to see the links, and the research you do for your writes. My regards.
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I like your wry since of humor. I'm glad you found the links to be of value. Footnotes (URL's) do help illustrate my poetry. Thanks again for your kind comments.
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Wonderful !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, You have penned an amazing poem. The form made it so easy to follow your words.
I had to look up Didgeridoo.
I love when I learn new words. I remember hearing it somewhere else. Maybe an old Crocidile Dundee movie.
Thank you for the links too.
As always, a pleasure to read your poem. Take care.
Sandy
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