Damned
Their banishment
Starts in winter
He shivers, she cries
From an unfamiliar, angry chill
The frost bites their bared flesh
Cast out, their pleading voices are heard
But the angels refuse to speak a word
Abandoned
Knowledge has
Robbed their hearts
And the Father hates
While his children, struggling, starve
"Mercy!" they weep and abysmally shake
The trees are skeletons beyond the gate
Paradise
Is lost
God is fury
The rib bone bleeds
Made from dirt, they fear
There may be worse out there
A contest entry
- "the trees are skeletons beyond the gate. . ." by JinSays.
937 points, ended November 7, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me honestly what you think, please.
Comments
-
Paradise
Is lost
God is fury
The rib bone bleeds
Made from dirt, they fear
There may be worse out there
very heavy imagery. I think you have created a "Divina Comedia"
I am a big fan of Dante. Thank you for your entry,and I wish you all the best.
jin
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