"The winds are rising sister,
tis time to go.
The clouds have gathered
soon there'll be more snow."
"Oh Billy Boy!
You're frightened are ye not!
..tis not the snow you fear, m'dear!"
"Don't tease sister!
"I knows what I saw!
"Besides, you promised pa
we'd be puttin on his tea..."
“Ach, now little brother
you ain't foolin me!
Now tells me again,
...what did ye see?
“Please sis, let’s go!
Yer being mean!
...and the dark is closin in ...
'sides Father Pritchard says it's a sin
...to talk of such unholy things!"
“But Billy! I wants to see!
I wants to see with me own true eyes!
Then pr'haps pa won’t wup yer tender hide for tellin lies
when ye wake him screamin from them dreams....!"
"Ach sister! Ye never shoulda tolds me where they laids her to rest...
An that I suckled from her dying breast until the hearth
was as cold as her departed flesh...an me a wee babe and all
left alone til ya'll returned next day, besides ...
ye knows pa can’t abides me still!”
“Hush Bill!
Don’t talks that way,
pa loves you fine!
And mebbe I ain’t yer ma
but yer still mine Billy boy.
raisin ye up and all ...
Now tells me true!
.. did ye hears her call?”
“I’m leavin, yer so doggone mean!
'sides you knows 'zactly what I've seen,
I never shoulda told ya!
Yer allas preyin on my mind
pesterin and a-pickin alls the time!"
...but yeah sister... she called my name!
I saw her shape and the wind was blowin...
and, “it“,no, I mean “she”
was draped...in a shroud of linen!
(Billy turns... then walks away)
"Billy wait!"
I’m sorry!
Billy wait for me...I'm comin an
I promise, we don’t never needs to go this way again....
Billy ...Billleee!?"
A contest entry
- Study in Black and White VII~the forgotten cross by JinSays.
800 points, ended November 15, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - very tough contest :P (don't just sit and enjoy your holidays without poetry ) by abuyi.
1400 points, ended February 22, 44 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Contest by Blue-Rose Beauty.
1050 points, ended November 20, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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this is beautiful... i could feel the cold and could see the frost.. and two siblings running
thanks for entering and best of luck
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This one made me shiver. good job with the pic and what I really liked was the promise at the end ... too late because he's already been made to take that way. Nice job.
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Piccola
Thanks so much for reading it! I really appreciated the kind and encouraging comment!
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WONDERFUL!
I love love love dialogues.
You done good, and these two. . . well, what can I say?
You've created a very moving story here with these two, and I thanks ye for entering my contests
.
Jin
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JinSays
Thanks so much for your kind words!
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This its different, like you've turned a script into life in poetry form.
Lovely the words dripped with emotion making me want to read more.
A wonderful poem and I wish you all the best ideas for the future.
Rose -
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Rose
Thank you Rose! I enjoy experimenting with different styles of writing.
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This is so different from anything I've ever read before. I really like how you were able to write and move the reader effectively in such a unique writing form. I hope that you win this contest, this is a great write. Thanks for sharing.
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goodnight
Thank you so much! I enjoy experimenting with writing forms. I appreciate your words ...Greatly!
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I have never heard such fine lines in such old form.
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Jd17
Thanks so much. I luv trying different styles of writing!
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Amazing Imagery
One of the best poems I have seen here.
Very good.
Joe
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Tennessee-Joe
What an honour! Thank you for your generous words.
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I love this...so deeply creative in broken English which is hard to hold true to and reminds me of days gone by...truely unquie...excellent...
best to you!
mystic
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mysticstorm
You are too kind! Thank you so much for the kudos!
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