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Hide my pocket Knife

Hide my pocket knife
Tonight I might take my life
I feel hated and unwanted
Sometimes I feel like my soul is haunted

The thing is I like pain
It helps me feel that I'm no longer held back by a chain
All my hate and anger release
But everytime I do so my heart loses another piece

I dont think its the best choice
But what can I lose
What should I choose
Its either pain or death
Which one is the best

The blade feels oh so good
But I have to hide my scars under my little black hood
Why cant I stop

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • depressedangelchick
    February 1
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    i know what u mean. i have thought about cutting myself in the past but i got over that urge after watching my younger brother struggle with it. it is tempting but u have to resist or it will not get better


  • deathchamber-of-sin
    June 1, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I can relate I like it very we'll worded xx


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    November 10, 2008

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    While I can't relate by any stretch, I have many friends who would probably see themselves in your words. Cutting is like any other addiction; dangerous, and damn-near impossible to stop once you've started, so you need to be careful.

    My only suggestion: You need to work on your end-line rhyme. If you find that a particular word is too hard to rhyme, then I recommend using one that isn't as difficult... It'll help your poem to flow better

    Thanks for entering, and good luck.

    Laura


  • deathchamber-of-sin
    November 8, 2008

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    I love it.
    I can relate to it.the rhyming is catchy.it just realy good!!!

    I can't wate to read more from you.


  • xeroabyss II
    November 5, 2008
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    I've always wondered, how can pain inflicted on self take away pain inflicted from the world.
    It's like killing one friend because another one got beat up by somebody else, then you regret it for all the rest of your days, hiding away under your little back hood of/in shame.
    But still none the less, I empathize with your discontent at the feeling of an inferior existance.


  • Goth-Queen
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    i like it

    this poem is ace, i know exactly how that feels like what the poem is describing

1 - 6 of 6