she drags her suitcase by the door
she knows her daddy wont be back any more
she drags her feet across the floor
she says daddy daddy dnt leave
ill do anything to keep you
right here with me
cant you see how much i need you
daddy daddy dont leave
mummys saying things she dont mean
she dont know what shes talking bout
somebody help me out
father listen youve got a home you dont have to go
ill clean my room
try hard at school
i promise you ill be good
father i pray for you
what do you think?
Comments
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Wow! Cheekycharlie. This was a great write with a lot of heartfelt pleading going on from this child. It certainly did touch the heart strings. You write this with compassion and insight, set it out well and allowed your words to just flow. The rhythm was excellent and your portrayel of this child just amazing. Fourth line, you left the o out in don't. Apart from this, i thought you did an exceptional job and thank you for sharing this with us.



