When you called me
I thought that everything was okay
When you called me
And said you wanted to be free
My bright life suddenly turned gray
Forevermore to stay that way
When you called me.
In a list
A contest entry
- When you called me... by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended November 19, 2008, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Those nasty let-downs sure takes the stuff out of us...thanks for your entry and good luck lol
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A beautifully interwoven rondelet with strong emotional content--perfect.
Good luck,
Bill
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I like the repetition, it's like thinking about someone again and again. going over it all in your mind. really like this a great write
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Sad
How very sad! I liked your wording, and the repeat of the title. I also really really like the last 3 lines.
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Strange how one call can change everything that you had thought to be true. That happens so often, sadly, and you have expressed it very well.
I enjoyed this write.
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