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Things That Won't Make Sense

Since the clock has wings
time flys by

Since your eyes have lids
you are closed

Closed and Alive and Awake, breathing next to me.
I can see that all
clearly.


My love is not a room
so you can not be there

My love is not soil
for you to grow beautifuly up and out of



But it is a bed where you can lie down and sleep forever comfortably and let time fly around inside of you because you are closed

Alive and Awake and Beautiful, breathing next to me.


Yes,


I can see all of that clearly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Thinkabouther!
Thinkabouther!
Thinkabouther!
Alot!
Andmore!Andmore!Andmore!

Thinkabouther...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Stirrer of Stardust
    November 27
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Wow - that is one powerful piece! Poet, you amaze me!!!!!!!

    ya All~Ways,
    ~ Jan ~


  • Catherine Lake
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    these past two poems make me feel like I'm trying to ram puzzle pieces together that look like they fit but don't.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    November 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!!!

    Thank you for sharing your muse's amazing talents with all of us!! Your use of surreal metaphor had me reading this poem again and again... I really appreciate your fine entry in the contest, and I'm wishing you all the best of luck in all you do!! Peace, Love & Hugs Always, xx Cyn


  • metanoia
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love that even though your stuff is short, it paints a picture vividly in my mind and at the same time, placing me within the poem. Raw and emotional, I feel it all. Even the subtlest of feelings.

    I'm glad to see you writing again.


  • Treefingers
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I just have to comment on this again to talk about the incredible beauty of these line
    "Closed and Alive and Awake, breathing next to me.
    I can see that all
    clearly."
    Closed and Alive and Awake, breathing next to me.
    ugh!


  • Treefingers
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    BEAUTIFUL!
    "Since your eyes have lids
    you are closed"
    that line kills me
    "My love is not a room
    so you can not be there"
    ugh......

  • pelo801
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that first line was great!


  • spirit rising
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow! good luck with the contest


  • bigperm
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Hey man this is really good

    almost rings of lyrical aspects. best of luck in the contest


    • The Burning Year
      November 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I just realized what happened..you were talking about how the first line made you think of entropy..I thought that was your response to something I said...my bad..

      that is kinda funny to me though..because the girl I wrote this about we are always talking about how things get so complicated..and that time and place where we decide to make them that way..it's like we wake up one day and we're like.."today...I'm going to complicate things..*yawn&stretch*

      but I like to think of everything as a problem...we do things (good and bad) because they are our problems and they need to be solved...and when we do things because we are bored...our problem is that we have no problems..haha
      it's interesting to me.

  • Catherine Lake
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Tell me what you see.


  • forwardfalling
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    DUDE!!!!!!!!

    this is that thing you do well without spilling yourself all over the floor...!What!.... Awesome dude..

1 - 15 of 15