I cleared
the space on the dresser
where your tic-tacs and knick-knacks collected -
only dust replaces them
I purged
the closet of your khaki pants,
button-up shirts, silken ties
and leather jackets -
the open space aches
and reeks of loneliness
I finally poured your milk
that soured six weeks ago
down the drain -
smacked by the realization
you'd never drink any again
I know I have to let go
of these meaningless material things -
but the truth is they help me pretend
you are still here -
and love never really lets go
Author notes
None I can think of.
Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Stark imagery. Soft melancholy. A surprise ending. Great, sad truth. Wow. This poem. Wow.
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So..this is the life..you have stated the truth ..and this way it makes the poetic journey by the pain of the love..very much heartfelt..
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A most powerful and poignant piece, full of mystery and open to several meanings... very neatly and very deftly done poem! loved it!
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Sweet!
auAww this is so sweet. A depiction of holding on in such ways gives this piece a lot of depth. I really like the way of hte persons things being there holding their own essence and presence in them. this is a very beautiful write!
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I like these type of confessional pieces. They are always an interesting window, whether a creative venture,or wrought from real pain. Seems to indicate to me,a deep resevoir of empathy and compassion, to write from someone else' eyes.
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Thank you very much.
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This is a very heartbreaking poem...reminds me of when my wife and I divorced...all the little reminders lying around, that eventually has to be dealt with...also this reminds me of when my grandmother died, and we had to clean out her apartment...her spoons hang on my wall, a dim reminder, that she is gone...
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Wow. Wow. This is incredibly real and powerful. I loved this. The imagery was heartbreaking.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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The imagery is exeptional
and the emotion raw and so
painfully real.
It's been a while since
I've talked to you
I hope all is well
it's so good to read you
again!!!
Perfection as always!
~Pastel
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Such a melancholy feel to this write. Love does tend to linger and haunt us after it has been lost. Well written. Thank you for sharing.
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What an image you have painted on top of the incredible emotion. It's so beautifully sad...and true. I imagine many who have lost someone they love like this can really relate...it feels so real in its every word.
♥
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Oooh...so vivid what you share as you go to each place, remembering...haunting images of someone's presence gone. Eerie, awesome realities. Powerfully written!
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Excellent imagery you got the point of pain across like a hammer!!!!! Wow my heart sunk Beautiful!
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this is really beautiful thank you for sharing.
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Good enough to be called ‘inspired’. I enjoy reading about things that could actually happen and seeing what emotions are revealed and how things are dealt with. Good work.
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Hood-wink
This to me is so sad I did this earlier this year of my daughters things it was the hardest and best thing that I could of done thanks for sharing and enjoy your hood-wink day you deserve it.
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HOODWINKED!!!
a very deep emotional write. filled with vivid imagery it paints a strong picture of love. thank you for sharing your amazing talent with us. keep writing poet! God bless you always
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I love the 'tic-tacs and knick-knacks' ... that was outstanding and the internal rhyme serves to add a more choppy feel to the sing-song tone of the poem's beginning ... the milk was particularly amazing
rotten food always gets to me 
... this is just brilliant (sorry for the lack of criticism!)
Keep writing
Polly
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Excellent
Hauntingly beautiful, well written .A castoff, perchance of the physical, a realization of the soulful, that still resides.
Well done -
HOODWINKED!
This is an amazing poem, the power of love transcends everything and will always remain. An excellent poem!
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Hoodwinked
This poem gives a powerful tone. love never lets go. We just want to hang on to the memories because it is all there is of that person. Best of luck to you in your future writes.
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This poem smacked me right in the face hard. When Allan left me as my AP hubby, I did the same thing. This poem helped me more than you know. I just have to let him go but you're right: "love never really lets go". Standing ovations for this poem!
Love,
Amera♥
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Incredibly real- almost painfully so. Little unexpected, unwelcome (but we'll stare at them) reminders. Being a guy, makes me think of how the flip side might feel.
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Is this fictional musing, or wishful projection? Regardless though, this IS one of the most
Heartfelt pieces by you that I can ever remember reading, really fine writing Allie.
Love you sweetie.
Mj.
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love you too brother
totally fictional - not sure where the idea came from really
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The first word that comes to mind is 'profound', because that's what this is.
I think you used more dashes than was entirely necessary...since you didn't use any punctuation in this poem (which really allowed it to "breathe", if you'll forgive the really clichéd term), I think a pause is kind of implied with every line break, making some dashes unnecessary.
Anyways...Tic-Tacs (capitalize that maybe??) & knick-knacks...awesome rhythm together, and it feels very real life; I can see the scene of you cleaning.
I love "I purged"<==that line is awesome, and the use of 'purged' feels cleansing in a painfully therapeutic way.
"smacked by the realization
you'd never drink any again"
Well damn, these 2 lines smacked my reading radar with how poignant they were...In relation to milk, well, WOW.
"I know I have to let go
of these meaningless material things -"
That is one of the dashes I think needs to go.
"but the truth is they help me pretend
you are still here -
and love never really lets go"
In this case, I would also lose the dash and simply create a new line break for "and love never really lets go", making it look like:
"but the truth is they help me pretend
you are still here
and love never really lets go"
Really good...I'm glad to see you write again, even if it is a sad, probably personal poem. :C
Jessica
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Wonderful suggestions, as always. Thank you and I'll certainly follow your advice here.
Not a personal write, actually. I'm relieved to say.
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So true, love never really lets go. Love is more about what happens to us, changes in us, and less about the one we love. Love makes us new and we can never go back to who we were before we loved. And that is the very best thing about love.
Wonderful write. Glad to see you here.
Garrison
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UUmmm, this is not for a contest.
Anything I might wanna know?
Excellent penning, er keyboarding here. MAterial things aren't meaningless if the are the remnants of a ghost.
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believe me you'd be the first to know
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nope. it's all good.
thanks hon
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Allie
This is a very well written poignant piece that tugs at the heartstrings. "Letting go," I believe is the hardest thing we must do in our lives. It may be the loss of a loved one or a broken relationship. In any case letting go is so hard to do when things surround us to bring back both good and bad memories. This is an amazing piece that screams volumes.
I know that you have been gone for awhile so I'll fill you in on some info. I'm not writing anymore [at least for a long while]. I kinda said goodbye to AP but not completely. I love my friends and will continue to both read and comment on poems from time to time. Yes, letting go is a hard thing to do, but I must due to personal problems, stress, etc...
I'll stay in touch
Again, a wonderful piece that you have penned
Much love
David
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I'm very sorry about everything that's been going on in your life. I wish I could make it better somehow.
I understand your need to alleviate some stress and I think it's a great idea. However, I will miss you very much and I hope you do keep in touch.
I will also be taking some time off from writing and from AP. I may pop in from time to time, but until the end of December I will not be active here.
Thank you for being such a wonderful person and friend! I hope you return to writing again some day - as you are extremely talented and the world will have lost a true gem if it lost your poetic voice.
Thanks.
Love,
Allie
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Allie, this is such a beautifully written, poignant poem that cleared a space in my heart as I read it. Such a moment must be an enormous wrench to a surviving partner and you capture it perfectly. Your visuals, linguals and images were so apt and tenderly arranged. Huge applause to you for this. If I may suggest something, perhaps some words about the scent of the person in the room or on the clothes would add to the impact - particulalry if, when all is said and done, it ends up reeking of nought but that loneliness. Love & Peace, Kx
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Wonderful suggestions! Thank you so much! I'll try to squeeze those in.
I love your avatar pic, by the way.
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