we collapse
gratefully together,
enfolding into each other, our
plastic fantastic entanglement.
hopelessly intertwined
now, knotted
whole; we're a
newborn spiral helix
twisted from two separate others,
a chemical zipper stripped, re-zipped;
like soft blocks of clay pressed
together,
each flowing
flawless without fail to
connect, blend, fill, mend, glue the other's
weak and bleak and hollow
hearts anew.
Author notes
I almost never write about love, but I've been feeling superlative about my partner lately due to his having to go out of town. I confess to never reading love poetry either so I have no idea if this is cliche or not. I hope it's worthwhile but being my first attempt I can't tell. The form is one I invented, called 'shinja'. Specifically this is a mixed shinja, three stanzas of six lines each. It can be done in other versions (3, 6, or 9 stanzas; 3, 6, or 9 lines per stanza; 3-6-9 or 9-6-3 syllables per line) but that tends to be my favorite.
A contest entry
- Big Emotion... by Walking Oxymoron.
550 points, ended November 22, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm gunna give you points for your poems! by SmartBrick.
400 points, ended November 30, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seduce My Senses With Words Of Silken Beauty. by Poetryintheblood.
550 points, ended January 8, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love. (Prewrites welcome) by Coloured Skies.
600 points, ended February 3, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Love Poems by MarkReeves.
625 points, ended February 4, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Nice one
Good luck in the contest This is very nice. -
Thankyou for entering this beautiful write into my contest good luck!
Tash.
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Thank you for your beautifully penned entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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What an awesome poem!
Thanks for entering -
It's nice, that.
Linking love into chemistry, linking joy into life...
By favourite part, newborn spiral helix.
Excellent imagery. -
well it's not cliche i can tell you that, i'm not a huge fan of love poetry myself, but this i like because it's something more than hearts and rainbows, best of luck in the contest, i love the way you wrote this, it's great
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I just changed the wording a little bit in a way which I think improves the impact of the poem significantly... If you have time/interest, would you take a look and verify whether the new or old version is better? Thank you very much.
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i like the changes, i'm glad i checked them out!!
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Yay! Thanks so much.
Good luck to you, too. I'm sorry you lost your friend and had to discover the falseness of others 
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