I can’t go on like this tonight,
not with these countless flashbulb smiles
and disappointed words from hypocritical friends
You and I are like these all to eager lovers
who keep skipping pages, trying for too much
And I’m always too afraid, headed unsteady and moving too fast,
it seems like this wont last, God I know this wont last
with my damned hand-me-down heart
And yet I think I could love you more if you’d just ask,
but those words will never be fresh on your tongue,
every breath will be old and reused, damp with another girls spit
So I find that I revert to the same person I’ve known for too long
and mull in the fact that I’ll never be enough for you
Instead I’ll be diving head first into the shallow confusion,
spilling my mind onto the basis and childlike notions of us,
onto those places where the ice has thinned and taken us by surprise
Author notes
Comments and critique much appreciated
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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A lot of feeling and pain in this poem. I can really feel your sadness.


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"every breath will be old and reused, damp with another girls spit"
That is an amazing line, perfect even.
The way you describe everything is beautiful, you use imagery and emotion together quite well. Probably one of the best poems I've read in a while, good job. :]


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Wow thank you so much, I'm very pleased you enjoyed it
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your poetry is just AWESOME. there is so much feeling and pain in this write. i can feel your sorrow.


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Hmm, okay so it's official, you are indeed my new favorite person.
...I'll give you the plaque later
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thanks. i do enjoy your words.
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i really like the 'hand-me-down heart' bit.
you have some really creative ideas-
i think i'd like to see them flow more.
which makes me a hypocrite a little, because my poems DEFINITELY don't flow.
but then, what's a poem but thoughts put to words?
and since when are thoughts coherent, much less flowing and sequential?
soo
disregard this.
wonderful write!!


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^_^ Haha, no no you're quite right.
Nothing but thoughts put to words and, in my case, they're almost never coherent.
Thank you for reading
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aww man,
This is a very personal write indeed my friend
"Hand-me-down heart?"
come on now...
you and i both know you're better than that.
Keep your chin up, always
Ken

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Thanks Ken
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