a beautiful young woman
blossoms into a troubled adulthood
battered and beat
a child is born into the war zone
she turns to a powerful drug
alcohol
many years the battle continues
long after the war has ended
the child lives on
the woman struggles
a new house a new begining
or so we all thought
life goes on
the battle never ends
until
that sunny thursday afternoon
when everyone had a cloud over their head
the day before graduation
a day before friday the thirteenth
who would've thought
my god mother never got to see me graduate
A contest entry
- ~Give me your BEST Prewrites~ by Bean Sidhe.
1000 points, ended November 14, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How do you deal with....? by Lonely Christina.
900 points, ended December 4, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options options options options theres millions of them!! by Princess Cuddle Bug.
495 points, ended December 5, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
really good
dude i never about this, i am sorry for your loss brotha -
hey there thank you so much for your entry in my contest and i love this poem!! its got a very different style and it flows with ease.... now i dont really use caps. or punctuation very much but i think this piece needs it
just an idea! but im guessin that you want to be apart of AP family??? or did you choose another option??? im not entirely sure. but could you please put in your AN which option you choose!? please and thank you 
good luck my fellow poet,
~*Princess Cuddle Bug*~ -
I like the couplet design of the piece as it adds structure but I would seriously consider some capitalization and punctuation where necessary. I think it will add a serious level to the piece overall.
Thank you for your entry & good luck!
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