you told me once that we were all made of tiny little words,
ricocheting off each other and rearranging themselves
into the story of the moment.
i said that my words would be broken,
bite-sized clauses without conjunctions
because i don't believe in
attachments.
because love, it's never been you and me;
it's you you you alone
while i walk behind,
wondering if my hand will be cold
forever,
looking for the courage to stop
trying to find you in the darkness.
i think you know that my heart cracks just a little
every time i look at you,
but do you realize that those tiny little fissures
are compounding to create a tear
that even superglue can't hold together?
i wish we were connected, dear;
i wish that there was something still between us,
but our love is just smoke filling our lungs,
not hearts.
if i could condone your choices,
catch your fall time and time again,
i would
but you've always been too heavy for my arms.
so honey tell me this:
have we got a problem that 'and' can't fix?
we could pull ourselves together,
attach ourselves at the hip,
but even if we pretend it's you and me
[oh together forever, let's make-believe]
the blinds still open every morning
and dreams can't stand in the sun.
Author notes
i hate hate hate hate hate this. maybe i will try to edit it. more likely i will delete it. :/
Whatever you want to say. Critiques, anything. :)
Comments
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-i said that my words would be broken,
bite-sized clauses without conjunctions
because i don't believe in
attachments.
...
Gahh you really just took the words from my mind and put them into this poem. =/ I love how you wrote that and phrased it. It really captivates the reader and the words you use are incredible.
-i think you know that my heart cracks just a little
every time i look at you,
but do you realize that those tiny little fissures
are compounding to create a tear
that even superglue can't hold together?
...
Beautiful lines. I can relate so well. especially the second part of that stanza. The part about superglue was brilliant :] Keep it uppp. & don't delete this
♥


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Pfft, hate it indeed.
I loved it and some of it, the start especially is what I would have been trying to say (though not so well) if I could still write lol.
Tis awesome x

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I don't know why you hate this. It's a well-worked piece that has great moments to it. It speaks from the heart and gives images to the distress.
i said that my words would be broken,
bite-sized clauses without conjunctions
because i don't believe in
attachments.
The first stanza and that one there are my favorites of the piece. It is difficult to write about such depth and to feel it and then see it. Don't delete it.



