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Agelong




An old haitian woman
sits dauntingly
on her plastic covered couch
while petting her cat

every so often chanting
gibberish in broken french

A prayer from the loneliness--

her curse since youthful years
when kisses were wet
and eyes were dry

Author notes

Write a poem in 10 lines or less inspired by a seven lettered word beginning with the letter "A":
I chose Agelong

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • ea silver member
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    aw sad, but what a great pick for a word. I really love it!


  • The Fun House silver member
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, how splendid this is. I can see it all vividly and feel the memoirs of youth drifting through the air. A most excellent take on the chosen prompt

  • Rowan gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "A prayer from the loneliness--"

    how beautifully sad. I often pray I don't end up as the crazy-ole cat lady. lol.
    Loved when kisses were wet and eyes were dry. Perfect.

  • Judith Chandler
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "when kisses were wet
    and eyes were dry"

    An evocative couple of lines.


  • lemonpancake
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Really sad. Amazing imagary and emotions which were really helped by the structure.
    Really strong. I loved it.
    Just so wow.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such a sad piece, your imagery and emotions are perfectly portrayed. I agree with below, this touches the soul deeply. A stunning and superbly penned piece, best wishes for the contest


    • afroqban
      November 4, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      thank u much for coming by. im glad my imagery and emotion stood out, been working on that a lot, trying to step up my writing game if u know what i mean. thanks so much for coming by and checking it out. much love


      • LadyDementia gold member
        November 4, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Your welcome, was a wonderful read! Thanks for the reads on mine to


  • Lencio Rodrigues
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was like soup to my soul. this is truly a beautiful piece, just something that I would love to read, Fun House somehow has notified of this contest to me as well and I am yet to check it out. You have done a very good job and reminds me of a write I had done a couple of years ago about a man and his cat (his only friend) must be down the pages. i was just wondering if your writes are just images created, or whether you write from real life? Either way, its excellent writing, and very touching, very soulful and brilliant!

    Thanks for sharing

    Love and light,
    Lencio

    • afroqban
      November 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      “i was just wondering if your writes are just images created”

      A little of both…I wrote this about an actual woman who lived on my block a few years ago, she has since died. But I think the reason she was alone was because she was nuts…or maybe loneliness drove her nuts? Who knows lol.

      Thanks for coming by and checking it out though, means a lot when someone of your talent takes the time to read something of mines. Much love and respect!

1 - 10 of 10