Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Through Their Eyes

A small flock of Doves had landed nearby
And were picking around for some seed
I watched them out there from my window inside
I wanted to see what they see

My spirit went out to join with the flock
To see through their little black eyes
I saw what they saw as they pecked all around
And when they went soaring on high

I felt our wings flap as we took to the air
I felt our small hearts beating low
I felt our warm breath as we breathed a great sigh
I saw what they saw down below

I saw a big Maggie come swooping on in
I saw him as he settled down
In the garden below where the Doves liked to be
I saw him go walking around

I felt all the patience the Doves did possess
As they waited for him to depart
I lived through their eyes, the day they had lived
I lived in the cooing Doves heart

I stand at my window and watch all the doves
As they peck at the seeds in the lawn
And I think to myself - how I think to myself
I am glad that the Doves were all born

In a list

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • DogFish silver member
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A pleasant and agreeable meditation taking us out of the buzz of our arcane daily business.

    "My spirit went out to join with the flock
    To see through their little black eyes...
    when they went soaring on high"

    You made me soar alittle higher!


  • UnManned4Ever
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This isnt one of my faves, but it is still good and your style that I like so much! Keep up the good work

  • jadeangyal
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is a cool poem! I've never read anything like this, as far as subject matter goes. I like the line "And I think to myself - how I think to myself" It is a slow and thoughtful line. If I were to revise this, I would remove the word "i" from the first line of the last stanza. It has one too many syllables for the flow. The flow in the rest of the poem was great. Maybe in the third stanza after your spirit goes out to join the flock, you could write
    "I felt our wings flap as we took to the air
    I felt our small hearts beating low"
    Great poem.


  • Beret55 silver member
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Another great story in rhyme. I've never thought of seeing through a Doves eyes. Very good.
    I've oft set and wondered what an animal was thinking of me , and what they were feeling.


    • condor gold member
      November 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment. We actually have some doves we feed outside our backdoor with a couple of crimson rosellas. A joy to watch.


  • adios muchachos gold member
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hello Again!

    Spotless meter, like it was on an atomic clock or something!LOL
    Loved this! Love birds...but I also love chicken soup!
    I will probably have a lot of explaining to do someday!lol
    I hope that is all I'll have to do!
    Goodly writ!

    John-Nevada USA


  • DolceVito gold member
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    You have a talent for writing about nature, animals and their kingdom. Well done.


  • rbruce gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your love of all birds shows clearly in this poem. I too, enjoy the company of wild birds outside my window and can relate to how you feel about them. A lovely poem from the heart.

1 - 8 of 8