I enhaled your scent like crisp winter air
running my hand through your snow speckled hair
brushing my once warm lips against your broken veins
in a trivial attempt to warm you
Your eyes were like blizzards
impossible to see through
and easy to get lost in
concealing your thought behind smooth white curtains
plastering frost to your windowsill
Your kisses sent shivers through my spine
nipping my frostbitten toes
rendering my body completely numb
with simply a touch of winter
A contest entry
- QUICKIE: seasons [3/4] by etoile.
550 points, ended November 17, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
criticm welcome.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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consealing --> concealing.
i liked the idea behind this poem, it was nicely written. i liked the last two stanzas. great take on the prompt and nice use of imagery.
thanks for entering and goodluck
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Really good.Very intense I thin is a good word for this poem.You show great imagry here and your use of words is great.God luck in this contest.I think that you may have a winner here.
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your metaphors are very imaginative. I'm left to sit and soak up the essence of your imagry, and feel like a bit of a voyure, wonderfully done!
blessings, sandi
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very deep
and imaginative! love the visions you conjured up!, thought it flowed wonderfully! and the ending' With simply the touch of winter' ended it beautifully
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Can we say gold?
Very discriptive. I feel as if I'm there watching the whole thing. Beautiful poem. Good luck.
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I don't think you should change this at all. It has everything a good poem needs. Good imagery, nice descrpitive words, a shadow character who anyone can relate to and I think youworked the season in perfectly. Can't find anything wrong with this at all you did spectacular.
Awesome job!
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