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Seasonal blur

 

 

 

 

Not that long ago,
I saw poetry in people -
     how they perpetrated passion
     and pretentiously preached
     the prominence of romance;

 


I poured paragraphs upon paper
to behold the birth of ballets,
     merging letters and imagery
     into color and hope
     for machines to understand my nature.

 


But some specimen
are simply too stupid
to see the blurred bedsheets.

 


     And the sun shat me a new season:
     with ghosts -
          incapable to remember respect,
     individuals -
          whoring themselves on the web
     and a big stamp on my face stating

 


         "this is not an invention
          but a throwaway human."

 

 

 

 

Author notes

A Poetical vent... it's probably clear enough who I'm pointing at for the most of you.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 30 of 30
  • Jenny Rose
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    I love it, but I don't at the same time. Weird feeling.

  • MariGoes gold member
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    I know I left a comment here, you deleted it how rude

    • leander Moderators member
      January 21
      Edit | Reply
      I never delete comments the system probably ate it

  • kel dog
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write and good luck in the comp.

  • GreenHrtPaleMoon gold member
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'sun shat' nice.

    Combining commonly praised images with objectively disgusting body functions. I great clash of words that makes your meaning all the more striking. Very great work (as usual)


  • broken-colours
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    100%

    "I poured paragraphs upon paper
    to behold the birth of ballets,
    merging letters and imagery
    into color and hope
    for machines to understand my nature."

    This was incredible. Concise, well worded, just long enough to get your point across. Well done!


  • Kari gold member
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I hate those kind of seasons. It seems that you're all alone and cold. But remember this tho
    "whenever a door closes another one always opens". I know that it might not seem like that tho atm . Plus if you've not done anything wrong I'm a big fan of Karma...the ones who have been hurt like you in the end the other ones who have hurt them for no reason they will get karma back. Someway somehow.
    Good job on a poetical vent


  • Gabrielle.
    December 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh abstract! I love the flow, the meaings behind your words are cryptic, thanks for entering this contest of mine. Have a great day!


  • catz Moderators member
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, Leander, I haven't a clue as to who your poem refers to unless it's a vent about yourself... we all have those times when we feel like the worst person in the world.
    But your poem itself is a very good vent, carrying lots of emotion, bitterness, and the sadness that seems to be creeping between the lines.

    So whomever, whatever brought about this rant, it's very good and close to masterpiece venting Judging from all of the trophies it's earned, I must not be the only one who thinks so


    Dee


  • ladylyric
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your work has taken on a darkness here lately...a beautiful darkness, which makes for excellent poetry.
    The last line "this is not an invention but a throwaway human" really touched my heart because it hit way to close to home.
    I feel like when a poet can continually relate to their reader without really trying to, then that is when you should know that you are truly a master of your craft.
    Lots of love to you


  • Ryno
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh. Rants. Got to love them. They get so much out of us, and, I know myself, when I vent something out in a piece, it really shows and I am also able to get it out of system when I am finished.

    I really loved the contradiction in this piece between the first to stanzas and then the rest of it - it starts out with that "la da da, life is beautiful, elegant" feeling and then quickly turns hateful, profane and angry - very, very affective, I feel.

    I thought you had a couple sections with good imagery, but I also feel like there was some oppurtunities to include a little more.

    Besides those things, this piece was also creative and moving; because I really felt those emotions myself while reading.

    Well written!

  • lordoftherings gold member
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellant

    A much deserved gold, I ws caught or should I say more like swept with the first few lines of your allieteration with the letter P. After that it just flowed to the end with a bit of a sting to awaken the mind.

    Congrads on the win

    Gregg


  • Ryno
    November 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    feeling it
    ~prewrites, come and get them

  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I might not have a clue of who this is about but I have been stung on this internet enough times to know it was well worth reading. Brilliant metaphor and rant. I enjoyed. Best to you dear Bandit


  • acarsaid gold member
    November 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    <

    Ugh... my dad did that to my mom. That's terrible, I'm so sorry.

  • Midnight-x-Rose gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such raw emotions here. Love the imagery, vividness of it all and the fearless choice of words. Love the end especially. What a brutal honesty!
  • ApathysEnemy
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well this was very well written. I'll probably have to read it a few more times to get the full meaning of what you meant, but what you said was very meaningful

  • Sandi Alford gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lea, this was the MOST poetic vent I have ever read. Alliteration is stunning, and the whole piece is electrically charged indeed.

    The little electronic box with the gateway to the world has sadly been the instument of alot of heartbreak to so many. It's great to see you rise above, even though I know it hurts.

    Stay true to your convictions my friend,
    Grote knuffels! lief, Sandi


  • acarsaid gold member
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing... the alliteration in this is absolutely incredible. The anger and bitterness in this piece reeks from the screen to the point where I'm actually feeling a lot of these emotions toward this person. I have no idea who they are, but I almost hate them for whatever it is that they did. I haven't read a poem that's done that to me in a long time... amazing.

    Thank you so much for entering and good luck!

    ♣ Tegan

  • Debbie Hansman
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!...a very powerful write this is. Each word springs out. I could visually see, feel your thoughts through this.

    Thank you for entering & Good luck!

    debbie


  • righteousme
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    perfect. just perfect.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyed the alliteration here. Thought the whole thing was going to be alliterated with P's at first. That would have been fine. Lately, I have a fascination with the world plump...as in things such as 'plump with starshine'. Sorry to ramble. Nicely written piece you have here.

  • Still Standing gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I hope it's not me...This is really a great way of expressing your anger in such a beautiful peice of work. Whomever you are speaking should take notice and be reminded what this site is all about...once again I hope it aint me

  • still.she.waits gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The alliteration is simply beautiful, it pulled me in. this make me want to start an alliteration contest...hmm lightbulb. i love the first stanza, and the second, and the third.
    the fourth stanza made me cringe, i wouldnt want to be the target of that anger..

    i love the sharp,intense,raw emotion of this.


    -and

  • Nicolette gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have been waiting for this poetic vent as poetry can be so very therapeutic. Wonderfuly written and the alliteration was so well done, my friend. This is a stunning poem... you may have lost "someone" but definately not your poetic touch!!



    ~ Nicolette


  • hawkeslake gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, no, some of us haven't a clue... but a very interesting write all the same! The alliteration is stunning and thought-provoking, as are your word choices. I particularly liked the first stanza, "I saw poetry in people..." and then you go on to grind them into the ground! As a vent, it's a darn good poem!

    . Rewarded 6


  • nilav
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    how can machine understand our nature even when people fail to do it...i feel this is a different write with powerful expressions to reveal many things...enjoyed it


  • LadyUnique silver member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'merging letters and imagery
    into color and hope
    for machines to understand my nature'
    oh those lines rang a few bells for me
    and excellent use of 'shat' I've never come across that word in poetry before but you've used it well
    very cool and I can guess who it's about


  • SevenHundredSeventy
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Intense emotion and raw imagery. Love the format and the message is loud and in your face. Good job.

    BTW, that avatar is awesome!

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 30 of 30