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Over And Over

The late stretched shadows caress the curves
of your face, pulling shades over your eyes. If
only I could see into their deep blue sea
depths I would know what to say
through this fog thick tension.
Dozens of people flicker in
and out of oblivion, wishing
silently that they could all disappear.

I see your lips silently moving, whispering
all the things I wanted the most to
hear yet know they will be the weights
that hold me to you. So many autumn leave
memories scatter between us, drenched in
remorse and misguided actions. As one by
one we're left alone, I wait for when you'll
come to me with posessive hands and
blood curdling kisses. I'll fall for you all
over again in rumpled warm blankets
and lost animal cries knowing I'll still be the
one who got away and was never reclaimed.

Author notes

After hours of false words and empty promises I realize everything was only a deep scratch in a worn out record.

Silent Moonlight

A contest entry

Be Brutally Honest, Loves

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • innocence jaded.xx
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    -I see your lips silently moving, whispering
    all the things I wanted the most to
    hear yet know they will be the weights
    that hold me to you. So many autumn leave
    memories scatter between us, drenched in
    remorse and misguided actions.
    ...

    hah !
    me to a "t"

    welcome to the finalists♥

  • carole21
    November 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice write for the prompt . . good luck in the contest !!


  • tomisb
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Memories often leave the present unable to measure up.
    We are victims or our own nature when we are seeking
    to be filled by more than our own hands.
    Partners of promise become recognized and for all the romance, we see in the light of our own heart's
    honesty that it is our creation we made with the clay
    of their flesh and we steal back our breath.
    Close the door and hope that in the shadows
    we are safe to light our own fires
    for that was all that ever burned.

    You capture the ache of dreams disappointed by the reality well.

    Love, Tom B.


  • bird-mad girl
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think the first line is a bit of a mouthfull. Together it doesn't really flow and feels a bit over whelming.

    I really adore the last three lines of the first stanza. It was eerie and reminded me of the haunted house I went to on Halloween. There was a lot a people and it was so dark and foggy that you disappeared into the walls and floor.

    I liked this phrase: blood curdling kisses. I love the word blood, it's so great and delicious.

    The last two lines of the piece were really heartbreaking. They were so desperate and terrifying.

    all my love


  • catalyst.
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thid is beautiful
    I loved the imagery and everything flowed so beautiful. the last two lines are a punch in the gut that ties up the poem perfectly
    I loved this


  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol well it is brutally good hon i happen to lik ethis whole poem here good luck to you in the contest

1 - 6 of 6